The Pact
by kyla713
Summary: The lines of friendship should never be crossed…or should they? That is the dilemma currently consuming Bella after a conversation she never expected with Edward.
1. Prologue

**A/N: It's been a long time since I've even attempted to post a new multi-chapter story, aside from what I've worked on with ericastwilight over on PlotbunnyWranglers, so I've seriously got a case of the new posting jitters. I know I still have stories left unfinished, which I have started to pick up again after a long mental hiatus, so I do hope to get back to posting those again, too. But as it's the 10th anniversary of Twilight today (which seriously has me like _whoa where has the time gone?!_ ), this is my little celebration and thanks for everything this fandom has given me. It's been an amazing ride, and it's a blessing that it's still going strong. **

**This is a story I started writing as a one-shot way back in 2010, I believe, when my mind was otherwise blocked, just to get things stirring again, and has been on the back burner ever since. I don't have a posting schedule, even though a majority of it is already written and I hope to keep that momentum going. I'm also still working on things with ericastwilight, as well as my own stuff, so it might be slow moving, or it might finish up in a week. I'm just that unpredictable. But when I emailed the first few chapters to myonlyheroin, I really don't think I've seen her that excited and shouty-capping me since I wrote her an outtake of LNE for her birthday a few years back. And now, she's all happy because I'm starting to post it… so it's all her fault! This story, so far, is not heavy in the angst department, and I have no intentions of making it go in that direction. It's just something fun and sweet, I think. Hope you all enjoy :)**

* * *

"I want you to have my baby, Bella."

Wine sprayed from my mouth and all over the front of Edward's shirt, and then my widened gaze met his. "Well, that was subtle. How did we get from me having no date for my company Christmas party to having a baby? Is that supposed to be like some kind of consolation prize?"

"I appreciate the ego boost," Edward replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

I breathed out a heavy sigh and ran to the kitchen to grab a rag to dry off his shirt. "You know what I mean. It's not like you gave me any kind of lead up there."

Edward took the cloth from my hand and wiped off his neck, and then stood without another word. I felt bad as I watched him walk down the hall toward his bedroom of the apartment we'd been sharing for nearly three years and close the door behind him. I hadn't meant to offend him or hurt his feelings, but he'd taken me completely off-guard. He had been my best friend since high school and we'd even dated briefly in our senior year before deciding that our relationship was better off as it was. In the decade since, we'd had an amazing friendship and I couldn't understand why he would want to change things _now_.

When he came back out a few minutes later, fully changed, he still refused to look at me as he walked over to the washer to set his shirt to soak. I crossed the room to him and rested my hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean…"

"I know, Bella. It's okay," Edward replied as he poured detergent over a particularly large spot on the fabric and began rubbing it in. "Just forget I said anything."

"You know me well enough to know that will never happen," I said lightly, and he even gave a little laugh, but still wouldn't look at me. I took his hand from the knob once he set the washer and led him back to the couch to sit with me again. "Where did that come from?"

Edward took a deep breath and lowered his eyes to my hand that was still wrapped around his. "Do you remember the talk we had about this after your breakup with Jake?"

My back stiffened, and my fingers squeezed reflexively around his hand. I _did_ remember but had given it little thought since. The end of my relationship with Jake had come suddenly and hit me hard. It was two days before my twenty-seventh birthday when he informed me that he really didn't see a future for us and he was leaving Seattle to move back to La Push. Even in that moment, I knew the real reason—I had been hesitant about moving out of the apartment I shared with my _male_ best friend for a guy I had only been dating for six months.

I wasn't overly devastated by the breakup, as I couldn't find it in myself to disagree with him. He was a nice enough guy, but at that point in my life, I was beginning to think about more concrete, long-term plans—finding "the one", settling down, and starting a family. I wanted to be a mother someday, and I was back at square one again. That night, while sharing a tub of ice cream in our kitchen, Edward's eyes widened almost humorously when I half-joked about the possibility of just going the artificial insemination route.

By the end of the evening, we'd made one of those pacts that if we were still single by the time we turned thirty, we would have a baby together. However, I never thought that any of it would come to fruition, and it was just one friend consoling another. Edward was an extremely good-looking man, but not one of those guys that _knew_ it. I'd always believed that whoever won his heart and got to spend her life with him would be a _very_ lucky woman. He was one of the few really good ones out there; kind, considerate, and would literally give anyone the shirt off his back. He also spoiled what girlfriends he _did_ have over the years absolutely rotten, but it never seemed to be enough for them. Stupid women.

However…a baby?

"Edward, we're not even thirty yet," I replied finally, once I shook off the stupor his words evoked.

"I _will_ be in a little over six months," he answered, lifting his eyes to me at last. "And I really don't foresee anything changing before then, at least not for me. But if you've changed your mind, I understand."

"I haven't changed my mind, really. I just hadn't thought about it much. I didn't think that either of us were quite _there_ yet," I said nervously with a shrug. "Are _you_ that desperate to have kids that you'd settle for having one with me?"

Edward turned in his seat to face me more and held my hand on his thigh. "It's not desperation, Bella. I never want you to believe for one second that it is. And settling? No, definitely not. I think we could be really good parents together. We get along very well and rarely ever argue. We have similar values when it comes to family. It makes sense."

"But we're not married, Edward. We're not even a couple. We've been down that road before," I replied with a shake of my head.

"We live together. It's really not that much different."

"I doubt my father would agree with that assessment. Or _your_ parents, for that matter. With as religious as your father is? Being a minister, I'm surprised he was even okay with his son sharing an apartment as _roommates_ with a woman, no matter who it was," I pointed out and felt Edward's fingertips shift against my palm. "We didn't really think this plan through back then. It was more like a heat of the moment, situational thing."

Edward's lips pursed, and he hummed in thought— _this could be dangerous_ , I mused. "Then marry me."

My eyes shot open and my breath stilled as I stared at him, gaping with my mouth wide open. "Are you crazy? Our families would see _right_ through that. Be reasonable."

"What's so unreasonable? We've lived together for years. It wouldn't be all that much of a stretch for the imagination that something materialized between us in that time," Edward replied with a shrug, as if it was an obvious answer.

"How about the fact that we've never behaved like a couple at all in the last three years? Or that we made it very clear that we were better off as friends, way back in high school? Or if we meet someone down the line that we want to be with, but we're married to each other? What are we going to do then? Get a divorce and put our kid through the trauma of a broken home?"

"Bella," Edward cut me off, placing his hands on either side of my face. "We were kids back then. We didn't know what we wanted yet. If you believe there is someone else out there for you, I won't say another word about this. But I really think that I could make you happy, if you gave me a chance."

I stared into the serious set of his eyes and my breathing became staggered. He'd never looked at me quite that way before, or even broached the subject of a romantic relationship between us since we were eighteen. Now, he was talking marriage and children, and the prospect of "making me happy." I didn't know what to say, or even what I _could_.

"You don't have to give me an answer tonight. Just think about it. And as far as the Christmas party, all you have to do is ask. Even if it's just as friends," he said and kissed my cheek, and then collected our wine glasses as he stood to make his way to the kitchen.

"Really?" I asked, and then shook my head quickly and rose to follow him. "I mean, that wasn't what I… I wasn't trying to guilt you into going with me."

Edward turned on the water in the sink to rinse out the glasses, and brought his fingertips to his ear, arching it toward me as if he couldn't hear me. I grabbed the hand towel from the counter and flicked it at his hip with a small growl, but he merely raised his eyebrow. "If you don't ask, I can't answer."

I sighed with a loud groan, though it did feel good to have a moment of normalcy between us again. "Fine, will you go with me to the Christmas party?"

"I don't know, I'll have to check my schedule. It's pretty full, with the holidays and all," he replied in mock thought and then laughed as I lightly kicked the edge of his foot. "Ow. No need to resort to violence. Yes, Bella. I will go to the party with you."

"No matter what?" I asked nervously, slipping my arms through the crook of his elbow and resting my forehead on his bicep.

Edward pressed his lips to the top of my head, and I could feel him nod against me. "No matter what. Nothing like that is going to change, whatever you decide."

That simple statement did relax me some, but the last few minutes were a stark reminder of what we had at stake. I never wanted to lose Edward in any way, let alone destroy everything between us. Just the thought of making things awkward if I declined and demolishing all we shared terrified the living shit out of me.

"Okay, I'm going to bed. The wine is making me sleepy," I said and stepped away, heading to my room and glancing back at him one more time. "And thank you, Edward. For offering to go with me. Goodnight."

"You're welcome. Goodnight," he replied and then turned his attention back to washing the glasses as I hurried down the hall to the sanctuary of my room.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: I am absolutely blow away by your response and the sweet reviews I have received so far. To all my returning readers, thank you for coming back after I've been away for so long. To anyone with me for the first time, welcome! Really hope that I can keep the momentum going on this so I don't disappoint you all! Thank you so very much to everyone for checking out this story. Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! Take care!**

 **Now to see what's going on in Bella's head after all that. :)**

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 _You are such a liar and a coward, Isabella Swan_ , I thought to myself once I closed my door behind me, leaning back against it. I wasn't even _close_ to being tired; even less so after the conversation that had transpired, in fact. Edward had just proposed to me, even if it wasn't an official, get down on one knee with a ring kind of conventional proposal. He'd still asked me to marry him. I wasn't sure what would be more difficult to process—the original comprehension in my mind that it would have been a marriage of convenience for the child he apparently wanted to have with me, or the _actual_ marriage he offered. My whole universe felt as if it had been knocked off orbit and spinning in a different direction.

I loved Edward; truly, I did. But in that romantic type of happily ever after kind of love? I couldn't be sure that was even possible. In another lifetime, he and I probably would have been the perfect soul mates. We clicked together in so many ways, and if he was any other man, he might have been exactly what I was looking for.

But he was Edward. He was my rock and the one stable element in my otherwise hectic life. The thought of getting married, just to end up divorced like my parents scared me more with Edward than it had with any of the other guys I'd dated over the years.

I darted over to my bed and slid under the covers when I heard him coming down the hall and breathed out a sigh of relief when his bedroom door clicked closed.

Okay, so that was an outright lie; something I had been trying to convince myself of for more than a decade. I was _so_ in love with Edward, it was sometimes hard to breathe around him, and living with him hadn't exactly made that easier, or fade at all. Losing him in any aspect was an unbearable thought, but to have that experience of being his wife and bearing his child, and possibly still having to let him go in the end—it was crippling.

Of all the directions my mind could take, however, it decided to strike me in a particularly painful place; the thought of the act required for the creation of the baby in question. If I were to agree to Edward's proposal, I highly doubted that as a married couple, he would agree to the _non_ -conventional method of conception. Not to mention the reaction I got from him over my sperm donor comment in the first place. Along with my heart, I would be sharing my bed and body with him, and I'd barely recovered from that the first time.

If I ever married Edward, I would want it to be for the right reasons, not as a last resort. To go through with what he had proposed would be anything but that. He wanted to be a dad, and I could completely relate to that. I was also creeping up on thirty and my biological clock was getting louder with each passing day—but with Edward?

I felt a lone tear trickle from the corner of my eye and onto my pillow, and I sighed in defeat. As much as I tried to deny it with my logical mind, my heart ached for it. Images floated behind my eyes of a fantasy I had never completely let go of—his eyes gazing into mine as we stood at the altar and vowed to love one another for the rest of our lives, feeling his lips press against mine when we were pronounced husband and wife, making love to him again, marveling with him over my rounded stomach, holding his hand as I brought our child into the world…

But it wouldn't be that beautiful picture I had kept in the back of my mind, in the depths of my most ardent desires. Even if we made it work this time around and found a way to be sincerely happy together, it wouldn't be that way in the beginning. Would I be able to live with that; be content despite that knowledge?

I was fairly certain I could be. I loved him and knew that he would make me just as happy as he said he could. Edward was a good man, and there was no doubt in my mind that he would be a wonderful husband and an amazing father, no matter what. But what about him? Would _he_ ever be truly happy with that?

Unable to lie there anymore with my thoughts, I threw the covers off me and rose from my bed, heading out of my room and down the short hall to Edward's. I cracked his door open and gazed inside, finding him lying on his side and facing away from me. "Edward? Are you still awake?"

"Yeah," he answered with a sigh, rolling onto his back and looking over to me. "Come on in."

I pushed the door open a little more and made slow steps across the room, and tentatively sat at the edge of his bed. How did I even begin? I didn't want to offend or hurt him again, but I also needed to protect my heart, as he had the means to shatter it like no one else ever could.

"Bella, you don't need to say anything. I'm pretty sure I knew what your answer was going to be before I even asked the question," Edward said calmly, covering my hand with his where it was resting on the mattress. "If it's going to make things awkward between us, let's forget I said anything and never talk about it again."

I shook my head slowly and brought my eyes up to meet his. "I can't just forget something like this, Edward, and you know that. And I don't think you could, either. No matter what we do or say from this point on, things have changed."

Edward's fingers tightened a little on my hand and a pained look took over his features. "I know."

" _If_ we were to do this," I began, drawing in a deep breath to center myself before I could continue. His eyes grew curious, maybe even hopeful, as he gazed at me, and I felt the pressure of his thumb on my wrist increase minimally. "What would that entail? I mean, aside from the obvious. I'm aware that nothing in life is certain, and even with the most promising of beginnings, any marriage has the possibility of not working out. This raises the stakes a tad higher, though. I know how to function within a broken family and allow it to affect a child as little as possible. My parents did it for years before my mom bailed, and my dad has been amazing since then. And I know that, were we to have a child, you would never cease to be his or her father. But if _this,_ " I paused, gesturing between us with my free hand. "Didn't work out, I'd not only lose my husband, but my best friend, too. That's more terrifying than the prospect of just a divorce itself."

"Bella," Edward said softly, releasing my hand and propping himself up on his elbow, and then brushed away the warm trail of tears streaming down my cheek. "You are _never_ going to lose me like that, I promise you. _That_ much _is_ certain. _I_ could never bear losing _you_ that way nor would I ever consider doing anything that would risk that. This wasn't something I just impulsively blurted out after a couple glasses of wine. I've been thinking about this for a while."

"The having a baby part, I know. But getting married? That was completely out of left field."

"Not really," Edward replied, taking hold of my hand again and tracing his thumb over my knuckles. "I very much want to be a father, don't get me wrong. And I know that being married wouldn't make us any more or less a family. I've just been thinking a lot about how I envisioned my life when I reached this stage and realized that it's never really changed. Wife, children, house. Simple and old-fashioned, maybe, but that's what I've wanted since I was a kid."

"There's nothing wrong with simple and old-fashioned." My voice was barely audible as I lowered my eyes to our joined hands. "But I highly doubt that marrying your best friend to have a baby was part of that vision."

Edward pushed the blankets off him and sat up more, his knee brushing against mine, and he lifted my chin to look at him. "It's actually not far off the mark at all. I saw myself marrying an amazing woman that I loved very much, with whom I shared a mutual respect for. Who wanted a family as much as I did, and I could see having a very happy life with. The only real difference here is that she would have wanted to marry me as well."

I shook my head and lowered my chin again. "It's not, though. Whether I want to marry you or not doesn't change the fact that you're not _in_ love with me. _That's_ the real difference. You were uncomfortable having sex with me for _pleasure_. Isn't that why we broke up? And I don't know about you, but only having mechanical sex with my husband for the purpose of conception was not exactly what I had in mind when I finally got married."

Edward didn't speak for several moments and I felt my face ignite with heat as I thought about what I'd just said. Not that we never discussed the topic of sex—he _was_ my best friend, after all, and there wasn't much we kept from one another—but it was the first time I'd brought up sex between _us_ since right after it happened. I was just about to cover my face with my hands in embarrassment when his fingers came to my chin, lifting it to look at him. He wore an odd expression, and it was one of those rare moments that I couldn't decode what he was thinking, and that only served to make me more nervous. "You honestly think I was _uncomfortable_ having sex with you?"

That look on his face and his tone was not helping my level of unease, and my eyes lowered, though he never released my chin. "I know you were, Edward. You couldn't even look at me afterward, and then we broke up. You didn't have to say the actual words to get your message across crystal clear."

Edward's hand finally fell and reclaimed mine, squeezing it gently. "I wish you would have talked to me. I wasn't uncomfortable with the act itself, and I'm sorry you ever thought that way. I got scared, Bella."

That caught my attention and my eyes rose quickly to look at him, finding his gaze locked on our joined hands. "Scared? Of sex?"

"No, not of sex," Edward replied with an uneasy chuckle, shaking his head and bringing his eyes to mine. "I was eighteen. Not that it's an excuse for anything, and I never meant to hurt you in any way. You are and always have been the most important person in my life, right up there with my family. And you gave me this look afterward, and it seemed like you regretted it. I couldn't lose you, Bella, and I was afraid that I would when you grew to resent me for it, so I figured it was best for us to simply remain friends, even if it meant sacrificing what _I_ wanted. It made sense at the time, but now, not so much. But I thought I'd made the right decision when you agreed that we were better off that way."

I pinched my lips together as he spoke and began shaking my head, feeling a familiar ache rise inside me. "It broke my heart, Edward."

His hand tightened on mine with my soft confession and another tear slipped down my cheek. When his thumb brushed it away, I leaned my face into his palm and closed my eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"I didn't want to lose you, either," I continued, but couldn't bring myself to look at him again just yet. "The only thing I regret about that night is what I actually lost. I'd rather have my best friend than nothing at all, but I'm still glad that my first time was with you. Because I know that, in your own way, you love me, and it made it special."

"I _do_ love you, Bella. Very much," Edward said, shifting closer and pressing his lips to my forehead. "I'd probably be married by now if I didn't."

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, but he didn't retreat in the slightest. "Don't do this. Don't just tell me what I want to hear."

"You really think I would say things I don't mean, just to convince you to marry me and have my baby? How can you think that of me, Bella? I thought you knew me better than that," he replied with an edge to his voice, backing away marginally. I opened my eyes again and saw the shocked disbelief in his expression, and a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. "What could possibly be accomplished in that? I'd lose you in the end. No matter _how_ much I want to be a father, _nothing_ is worth that. And I would _never_ lie to you about something like this. All you have to do is say no, Bella."

A sob caught in my throat as he rose abruptly from his bed, pacing with his hand clenched in his hair. "I don't want to say no. To any of it. In my perfect world, you'd be exactly who I would marry and have kids with. Grow old together sitting on a porch swing, but the world isn't perfect."

"Not everything needs to be perfect to be right," he answered, and our eyes met. "If you don't want to say no, then don't say it. That's gotta mean _something_ , right? You don't need to say yes right this second, and I am not going to force you to. But Bella, I _do_ think that we could be really great together. We didn't break up because I didn't love you or want you. On the contrary, I wanted to hold onto you so tight that day. And there hasn't been a single day that's passed since then that I haven't wished I could have had even one more hour. But I wanted you to be happy. I always have and always will. So, if what we've had over the last decade is what will accomplish that, I will gladly continue."

My mind was spinning with all he'd just said and the spectrum of emotions passing over his face. I had no doubt that he was absolutely sincere, and there was a definite sadness in his eyes. I hated the thought that I was even remotely responsible for it. I stood from the bed and walked toward him, taking one of his hands in mine. My gaze followed the path of my thumb tracing over the backs of his fingers for a moment before rising to meet his. "I can't say no any quicker than I could say yes right now. I believe we could both benefit from some time to think this through before we even discuss settling on a decision."

Edward nodded and pulled me closer, his arms sliding around me and holding me against him. For a moment, I allowed myself to sink into his embrace and drown in its warmth. It had been years since I'd permitted my thoughts to pull me in that direction; how comfortable and safe I felt in his arms, the firmness of his chest against my cheek, and how easily I could get used to being that close to him without the boundaries of friendship.

It was that thought that finally brought me to pull away from him, murmuring a soft goodnight and leaving his room to head back to my own. I felt certain that no sleep would find me that night.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: I meant to put this up yesterday, but time got away from me. This one is really short, but it was also not originally part of the story. I quickly typed it up on Thursday after receiving a review from Nrbl1, asking if this would all be in Bella's POV, or would we get to see Edward's as well. As I stated in a response to that particular review, so far, everything I had written before this little bit the other day has all been in BPOV. Not saying that there will absolutely never be anything else from Edward's head in this story, but so far, it's all come through my head in Bella's. Hopefully, we will hear from Edward again at some point, but I can't make any promises. *keeping fingers crossed***

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **Edward**

 _Cullen, what the hell have you done?_

Even my thoughts were cursing me as I lay in bed long after Bella had left my room, running over all that had transpired that evening. I hadn't been lying when I told her that I had been thinking of having a discussion with her about our talk that evening two years before over ice cream. Those thoughts had been floating in my mind since right around my birthday in June. I had always been extremely family oriented, having such a close knit one of my own growing up, and had been wanting to have children someday for as long as I could remember.

Yet, it was when my sister, Alice, announced in late May that she and her husband, Jasper, were expecting their first child just before the new year, my own feelings began to stir. Despite common misconceptions that it is solely a female trait, I was living proof that men could get the so-called "baby fever", too.

Not so much that I was in an all-fired hurry to marry the first girl I came across, just to have a baby, but the desire to have a child was ignited. In another year, I would be thirty, and I was no closer to having the family I desired more than anything—because I had never truly let go of what I had wanted since I was a teenager, and that was Bella.

The broaching of said topic was another matter entirely. I hadn't come home from work that night with the intent of asking her to have my baby or proposing to her in such a casual way.

Did I regret asking her to marry me? Yes and no. I loved Bella to the very depths of my soul; she was the perfect woman in my eyes. There had never been anyone else who had even come close to making me consider marriage, children, and a future with them at my side. However, seeing the tears in her eyes, accompanied by the pain in her voice, stirred the heaviest regret I had ever experienced. We'd both made mistakes, but I had been just plain _stupid_ , whether I was eighteen or eighty.

I wouldn't blame Bella in the slightest if she said no after she took the time to think it all over, while still keeping that slightly foolish hope in my heart that she wouldn't. Not that I could honestly say that we would have been already married with a house full of kids by then if we hadn't made the mistake of letting each other go. We'd both been focused on our studies and careers for years—with Bella's path as a paralegal, and my own through med school and everything that came along with it. There was a high likelihood that, even if we'd never broken up or had gotten married in the time since high school, having the time and energy to balance both a career and family as we would want to, would still be about now.

We'd both comfortably settled into our careers—Bella at the law firm, and me at the pediatric clinic and set shifts at the hospital, rather than the unpredictability of being on call in random intervals. Our salaries were comfortable to the point that we wouldn't be struggling with the added expenses that came along with having a baby. The timing couldn't have possibly been more perfect.

If only I hadn't been so stupid and fucked up what could have been the best thing in my life—a home and family with the only woman I had ever truly loved.

 _For a guy with a 3.8 GPA, and a_ _doctor_ _to boot, you really are a fucking moron,_ my mind continued to chastise me as I flipped onto my other side, punching my pillow to increase the firmness under my head and closing my eyes. It had been a long day and I really needed some sleep, but it refused to claim me.

What if I had just irrevocably altered the dynamic of my friendship with Bella? If there was one person outside my family that I could not imagine my life without, it was her. She had been my best friend and confidante for nearly fifteen years. We talked to each other about pretty much _everything_ , even if it was something that the other would rather not know, and we never judged one another. I trusted her more than any other single person, and I knew exactly how lucky I was to have such an amazing person in my life. I could only hope that I would not end up losing not only my best friend and roommate, but half my heart as well.

The fact that she welcomed my embrace before leaving my room was promising, as well as it not feeling as awkward as it could have, even when she departed quickly afterward. So, all hope was not lost.

If she said no, I would respect her decision and love her as much as ever; nothing would change on my end.

However, if she said yes, I would spend the rest of my life showing her all the love I'd been holding back for the past decade.

Either way, she would not lose me, as seemed to be her biggest fear. And hopefully, no matter what, we would still always be the Bella and Edward we'd always been at the core.

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 **A/N 2: Sorry it's only the briefest of glimpses into his head and not all that exciting lol**

 **Be back to meatier and more progression filled chapters soon. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am still so blown away by the response to this story so far, and I am so grateful to you all for reading. I had to take a few days off from writing it while I wrapped up another story, but I am back to working on it again, as I finished the final chapter of FGB New Moon in EPOV today. Just needs prereading and a bit of editing. So for now, my main focuses will be this story and I Don't Want To Fight. Hopefully, if I can get another chapter finished in the next day or so, I will update this again sometime this weekend. *fingers crossed* Hope you all enjoy.  
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In most cases, I usually prefer dreams over thoughts. From dreams, one can wake up, and sometimes, they are even wiped from memory before full alertness has the chance to take hold.

That evening was not one of those times.

Once I'd felt sufficiently drained, I drifted off to sleep and that night's conversation stirred the most vivid images I could remember having in ages. Everything I had tried blocking from my thoughts for years came rushing back all at once, lingering in my mind when I woke suddenly hours later. My heart was thrumming painfully in my chest, I was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and my breaths were nothing more than sharp gasps until a sob escaped me.

I could still see him looking at me in that gentle way he once did. My lips were still warm and tingling from his kisses. His arms had left their impression on my skin where they'd held me firmly against him.

And it was all a dream, while I was being dragged back into consciousness.

Banging from the kitchen caught my attention, and I swung my legs out of bed, shivering violently against the loss of warmth from my blankets. I pulled on my thick bathrobe and left my room, and I immediately spotted Edward rushing around the kitchen. His eyes met mine as he pulled the refrigerator door open to put the milk away, and I glanced to the counter to find a travel mug there. "What's going on?"

Edward sighed heavily, and the strain in his eyes caused my stomach to tighten. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I was going to leave you a note and call you later."

The rush in his voice was unnerving, as was his state of alertness at the hour displayed on the clock of the microwave. It was just after six in the morning on a Saturday and one he had off from work as well. "Are you okay?"

Edward gave an uncertain nod, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I'm fine. I just have to head home. Alice went into labor last night and they weren't able to stop it. Her water broke an hour ago, and Jasper said she could deliver as early as mid-morning."

My hand clasped my chest as my mind raced in panic. I knew that Edward's sister was due sometime after Christmas, but with all that had been going on recently, I couldn't remember exactly _when_. "Oh my God, is she okay? The baby?"

Edward's features relaxed some and I felt my own breaths calm. "Physically, both are fine. Three weeks early isn't _too_ bad, but you know Alice. Emotionally, she's a mess and she begged me to come down. The baby might already be here by the time I get to the hospital, but I couldn't say no."

"No, of course not. Go," I breathed out and stepped forward to hug him. His free arm wrapped around me, and he pressed a kiss to my hair. "Tell her I love her, and I'll head down as soon as I'm finished at work today. It's only a few hours."

"Will do," he replied, rubbing my back briskly with his hand before pulling away and grabbing his keys from the counter.

"And don't drive _too_ fast, okay?" I watched as he made his way to the door, and his grin before darting out of the apartment made me roll my eyes. Of course, he would; even when he _didn't_ have somewhere urgent to be, he still drove like his ass was on fire. Only once I heard the door to the stairs close from down the hall did my thoughts begin whirling again, and I breathed out slowly.

At the base of everything, Edward was my best friend, no matter what; we had proven that just moments before. Despite the heaviness of our conversation the previous night, we weren't awkward and could still talk to each other just as we always had. Nothing had changed.

"What the hell am I thinking, _everything_ has changed, moron," I groaned to myself hours later as I sat behind my desk, staring intently at the clock in the corner of my computer screen. I usually didn't mind being at work for a few hours on a Saturday—hell, it _was_ four hours of overtime on my paycheck every week, and occasionally, one of the attorneys would let me off early if it was a quiet morning—but that day, it was the very last place I wanted to be.

I had my overnight bag packed and set in the back seat of my car, so I could head directly to Forks once I got off work. I was so anxious to see Alice and Jasper's brand-new baby boy, who had arrived an hour before—pink, healthy, and wailing.

And of course, I wanted to see Edward. The one slow morning that I was _not_ let off early was the one I could have really used the most. I already had a few hours' worth of driving ahead of me, but at least then, I could distract myself with the blaring radio. Sitting there in the quiet office, with Kenny G playing above me, my mind wandered.

No matter how many times I tried to save my heart by telling myself that nothing happened, my head continued to remind me that it had. I could still hear every word he said, see every expression, and it hadn't blurred or faded as dreams tended to do throughout the day. And I saw it in his eyes that morning, even if only for a moment.

Edward had asked me to marry him and have his child. I wanted to say yes— _God_ , did I ever. I wanted to be one of those women who could say that she married her best friend, and _mean_ it, not just some poetic bullshit. And he looked so sincere the night before; it would be so easy for me to believe it all and say yes, if I was simply listening to my heart.

"Are you feeling all right, Bella?" a voice startled me out of my thoughts, and my eyes flew up to find Mr. Biers, my favorite of the attorneys, standing in front of my desk. "You look like you either don't feel well, or you're about to burst into tears at any minute."

His face was full of genuine concern, and I blinked against the burning in my eyes that I hadn't noticed until he said something. I shook my head and straightened in my seat, forcing a smile. "Oh no, I'm fine. I just got news that a friend of mine had a baby, and I'm really excited to go see him."

"Edward had a baby?" he asked, his features contorting with confusion.

Naturally, the two had met on a few occasions—like the numerous times I had forgotten my lunch and Edward had kindly dropped it off for me on his way to work, or when my car was in the shop and he'd brought me in after an hour's sleep, since he was on the night shift at the time. Things friends do for one another. However…

"Edward isn't the only friend I have," I replied and laughed once I caught sight of the teasing smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Very funny. Actually, it's his sister, Alice. Edward is already in Forks with her, and I'm heading there myself after work. I'm just really excited."

"And you're hoping to cut out a little early?" he asked with a raised brow, and I lowered my eyes. He _was_ always really nice to me, far more lenient than the other attorneys in the office, and I felt a bit guilty for actually taking advantage of it so often in the past. So, I couldn't meet his gaze as I shrugged and gave a small nod. He leaned down toward me and lowered his voice as he spoke. "Bella, I'm a lawyer and get paid a hell of a lot more than you do, and even _I_ am bored as shit here on Saturdays. You're in the home stretch for the day, so go. Your check won't be docked for twenty lousy minutes."

The first genuine grin I'd been able to conjure all day touched my lips, and I even managed a small chuckle at his very informal manner as I gathered my purse and switched off my monitor. "Thank you, Mr. Biers. I really appreciate it, and I swear I'll make up the twenty minutes."

"Don't worry about it. And Bella?" he called after me as I had just reached the door, prompting me to look back at him. "It's okay to call me Riley, you know."

I gave him a timid smile in response to the broad one he wore, nodding awkwardly without a word and scurrying out the door. Mr. Biers had always been very friendly, if slightly flirtatious. While he was a very successful, good-looking man, with ocean blue eyes and blond hair, and well-tanned for a Washington native, he was also a well-known player, and even if he wasn't my boss, I wasn't interested in being someone's play thing.

 _Maybe I'm just reading too much into it,_ I thought to myself, attempting to shake off the nervous tension his smile had caused in me. I was just on an emotional edge with all that had transpired the night before, making me more sensitive to everything. Mr. Biers was just being friendly and sociable; nothing more.

I set my iPod to shuffle and began the long drive to Forks, and once I hit the highway, my thoughts returned to the choice that lay before me. Edward had really thrown me for a loop repeatedly the previous night, and my mind was having trouble wrapping around any of it. The mention of marriage and a baby was a huge shock factor, but everything that had followed only compounded it. He'd said he loved me more times than I could possibly count over the years, but there was something very different about the way he'd done so in that one particular moment. He had kissed my forehead and told me he would probably be married by now if he hadn't. And if that wasn't enough to send my mind reeling on its own, I was already trying to pick myself up from his revelation about the one and only time we'd had sex and the apparent miscommunication that followed. And not for the first time, I felt like the world's ultimate cliché.

In love with my best friend. Check.

Dated him. Check.

Had my first time with him and fucked things up by being an overly dramatic teenager. Check, check.

And then, the cherry on top—said best friend misconstrued my fear for regret, and let me go for _my_ happiness, over the same damn fear. One big huge fucking check.

If he had been anyone else, I might have thought he was feeding me lines to bend me to his will, and I even impulsively accused him of such. I regretted it the moment it left my lips, and even more so when he actually got angry with me over it, which was rare in itself. I _knew_ better than that; it was _Edward_. He would never do something like that to me, yet at the same time, I was terrified to believe it.

He was everything I had ever wanted and hearing him say all that had my heart screaming to tell him yes. To take hold of him and never let go. To believe every word he'd spoken, as it was everything I had ever dreamed of him saying to me.

If only it could really be that simple.

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 **They will be making progress, I promise. Bear with them a little longer... like another chapter or so ;)**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Good morning and Happy Sunday to you all! Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend, and here's another chapter! Should have another one soon. :) Take care, everyone.**

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I finally pulled into the hospital parking lot, feeling more drained than I had in a long time, but I was anxious to see Alice and Jasper's new baby. As I searched for an open space, I spotted Edward's car and felt a fluttering in my stomach—he was still there. Never in my life had I felt such a wave of nervousness at the presence of Edward, or worse, just the sight of his car. It was ridiculous, and I knew I needed to snap myself out of it.

I circled around the parking lot twice before I finally found an open space, and I quickly pulled in. I would just focus on getting upstairs and doing what I drove all the way to Seattle for; congratulating Alice and Jasper and meeting precious little Camden.

On my way into the hospital, I checked my text from Edward with Alice's room number one more time, and even found myself bouncing excitedly in the elevator all the way up to the maternity ward. Alice had been waiting for that day since she was fifteen, and I couldn't think of a single baby in the world that was more wanted and loved before he was even conceived, by both of his parents.

I could hear her voice before I even reached the door and chuckled at the sound of Edward shushing her as I knocked. "Come in, Bella."

"How did you know it was me?" I asked her once I stepped inside and crossed the room to her bed.

"Even if we weren't expecting you, you're the only one polite enough to knock," Alice replied as I leaned over to kiss her cheek in congratulations.

"Where's the little guy?" I asked, but my question was answered before either she or Jasper could utter a word.

In the chair directly behind me, Edward sat with a tiny bundle in his arms, wrapped in a white blanket and a little blue knit hat peeking out of the top. His smile as he looked up at me was infectious, and I couldn't help but give one in return. He looked so completely content and relaxed with the little baby in his arms, and it caused a whole new colony of butterflies to take flight in my stomach—and it didn't freak me out in the slightest.

Finally, I brought my gaze down to Camden, and every other thought in my mind disappeared. He was, in all honesty, one of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen. His heart-shaped lips pursed in his sleep, his tiny fingers flexed and curled where they poked out of the blanket, and I couldn't resist reaching out to touch the soft, fine hair that peeked out from beneath his hat. Everything about him seemed to be the perfect combination of Alice and Jasper, and before I realized it was happening, a tear slipped from the corner of my eye. "He's amazing. And he's okay?"

Alice nodded with a wide smile. "He's perfect. I was just an emotional wreck, who needed the assurance of a pediatrician I trust with my life."

When her eyes drifted over to her brother, mine followed and found his already on me. "Do you want to hold him?"

"Yeah," I replied in a barely audible voice, moving a step back as he rose from the chair to allow me to take his place. Once I settled, Edward slowly bent toward me, laying the baby in my arms with barely a jostle. Camden didn't even stir, and my mind began wandering as I watched him sleep.

There is nothing else in the world quite like the feeling of holding a baby. Even sitting there with someone else's child in my arms, a sense of warmth and comfort flooded through me, but also, that old familiar feeling that had been becoming more and more frequent—longing. I leaned down to press a kiss to the baby's forehead, and that same soft, downy hair peeking out from under the hat grazed the end of my nose. My eyes closed as I inhaled his scent and my heart constricted, and when I lifted my eyes and caught Edward's gaze with mine, it plummeted to my stomach. I truly wanted this experience for myself; to hold my own child in my arms and feel that level of love I had only heard and read about, but not at the expense of losing Edward.

I spent an hour there holding Camden until Alice began falling asleep, so Edward and I decided to leave them all to rest and head back to his parent's house for the evening. After the early start, the dragging hours at work, and the long drive to Forks, in addition to the exasperating circles my mind had been going on since the night before, I was completely exhausted. I just wanted to sleep, and my father was working the night shift anyway, so I planned on seeing him the next day.

Besides, I'd had my own room at the Cullens' house since my sophomore year of high school, when sleepovers with Alice had become an every-weekend occurrence. That only ceased during the brief period that Edward and I had dated, per my dad's insistence.

Yet, never in all the years I'd spent nights in that room had I ever had so much difficulty sleeping. At two o'clock, I was still tossing and turning, my mind in complete turmoil. Being in that hospital room and holding that little boy had only served to send my thought process into high gear. Edward and I both wanted a child; that was true. I also could not deny that the comfort he displayed with such a tiny baby in his arms, something that would have likely sent most men into a panic, made me ache just a little more. Granted, that level of ease with children of all ages may have been a requirement for Edward's profession as a pediatrician, but his affectionate nature was not. Now more than ever, I knew that Edward's capability of being a loving and capable father would never be a factor in my decision—it didn't need to be. It was all a matter of getting over my deep-rooted fear.

I knew that no matter how long I took to think about the situation, the decision was never going to get any easier—Edward was far too important to me. Yet, beyond that, not only was my heart going to be on the line, but most importantly, the happiness and welfare of my potential child. I could not simply jump headlong into something such as what Edward had suggested with the future of an innocent baby at stake.

Once again, I found myself tiptoeing down a hallway toward Edward's door. Only that time, it made me feel like I was fifteen all over again, when I used to sneak into his room during thunderstorms. My gaze darted back and forth down the hallway until I internally cursed myself. I was twenty-nine years old, so why was I worried about being caught by Edward's parents, even if I had some salacious intent—which I did not.

At the very least, not _yet_.

Slowly creaking the door open, I peeked inside to find Edward fast asleep, even snoring softly. I knew he had to be exhausted and felt guilty about disturbing him, yet I still found myself moving toward his bed and gently sliding in beside him. For a couple of minutes, he didn't stir at all—a testament to how tired he truly was, since he usually woke very easily—and for that short span of time, I just looked at him, and not with the eyes of a best friend.

Edward really was an outwardly gorgeous man. From his long lashes to the perfect lips that framed a positively dazzling smile, and his jaw back up to his sinfully soft and full head of hair, there was no doubt that any child who inherited his genetics would be beautiful. However, that was completely superficial and far from the most important thing.

I honestly could not imagine finding a better father for my child than I knew Edward would be. He had the patience of a saint, as he was setting an example of with the very topic at hand. And I knew his child would be just as loved and wanted as Camden was; maybe it was hereditary with the Cullens to desire family to such a degree. If I were basing my decision on those factors alone, I wouldn't have one to make. I likely would have chucked my pills out the window and been in his bed all night after our talk, and every night thereafter until the second line appeared on that little white stick.

But I wasn't. I wanted more than just a baby; I wanted the whole package.

Edward suddenly shifted in his sleep as if startled under my intense perusal and took a sharp intake of breath through his nose before his eyes shot open to look at me. "Bella? What's wrong?"

His deep and sleep-laden voice rumbled in his throat, and he blinked several times, obviously attempting to focus his vision. They then widened as I draped my leg over his and shifted myself closer to him. "I've thought about it, and right now, I just can't."

Edward closed his eyes and nodded with a sigh, and then opened them again to look back at me. "I understand, Bella. I did sort of expect this and prepared myself for it, and it really is okay. I wouldn't want to lose you over something like this."

"Will you shut up for a minute?" I whispered as I brought my hand to cover his mouth, causing his eyes to widen more. I remained silent for a moment, my gaze following the trail of my fingertips along the curve of his lower lip, before finally meeting his again. "I can't do it as things stand right _now_. So, here's my thought. We try the dating thing again, with completely open communication, no misunderstandings, for six months. That will bring us to your big three-oh and give us time to see how we work as an actual couple, in _all_ areas. It will also give our families time to view us as a couple before we spring a marriage and a baby on them."

Edward's breaths became shallow, and his expression remained frozen in shock. "Are you…are you really saying yes?"

"If in six months, we are still working well and want this, then yes, I will agree to marry you. And your birthday present will be me throwing away my birth control pills," I replied, watching a smile stretch across his face. "I'm sure this probably is not _exactly_ what you wanted to hear, but as much as I may want to be a mother and would love for you to be my baby's father, I want a family even more. I need to know that there's a chance that we could be that family I've been envisioning all my life, or if we truly were just meant to be friends."

Edward's eyes softened, and he brought his hand to my face to gently palm my cheek. "All I truly wanted to hear was honesty, Bella. It's not a hardship on me to date you, and if this is what you need before we think about proceeding any further, then you've got it. I told you, no matter how much I want to be a dad, _nothing_ is worth sacrificing you."

I nodded, my index finger returning to his lips along with my gaze. "Can I try something?"

Edward hummed in acquiescence and then froze as my thigh hitched a little higher on his to bring our chests level and flush with one another. "Bella…"

"Relax. Not that. I wouldn't do that here. We may be grown adults, but I still respect your parents too much to do something like that under their roof, and only a few doors down from them at that," I whispered with a chuckle, stroking his cheek with my fingertips. "Plus, I have a three-date minimum, and previous time served doesn't count."

Edwards eyes closed briefly with his laugh, and he shook his head before returning his gaze to me. "Then what?"

I swallowed hard as all humor left me, and nervousness took its place once again. _Buck up, Swan. If you can't manage_ _this_ _, how do you ever expect to make a baby with him?_ Slowly, I inched my face closer and tentatively brushed my lips over his, while he remained completely still. I nearly retreated until I felt his fingers gently begin to lace in my hair and guide me back toward him, and in a soft motion, took my bottom lip between his.

Edward opened his eyes to look at me in concern with my shriek of surprise, but I merely shook my head and resumed the kiss. It wasn't heated or demanding, but no less passionate. I could feel his heart pounding in time with mine as our arms wrapped around each other, pressing our chests together more firmly. Nothing felt awkward or forced, which I couldn't help but feel surprised about. As we rolled until his body was hovering over me, I released a small moan of contentment. Edward parted from our kiss and look down at me, and I open my eyes and smiled. "That was promising."

"That it was," he replied, gently stroking my cheek with the backs of his fingers. "May I continue?"

"I think it will get pretty weird after a while if we keep asking each other for permission every time we want to kiss," I said teasingly, but wrapped my arms around him and splayed my hands over the warm, bare skin of his back. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm your girlfriend now. So, unless I'm angry at you, I can't foresee any reason why I would object to you kissing me. And if I happen to have one, I'll tell you."

"Ditto," he answered with a smile before lowering his lips to mine again, kissing me deeply.

 _If everything could be as easy, and feel as good as this, then maybe it could work._

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 **A/N 2:** **The story starts to move fairly quickly after this, now that they've finally gotten over that initial hurdle :) Hope to see you all back here soon! :)  
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	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello again! I am actually keeping a pretty steady flow going when it comes to this story, so with another chapter ready for my prereaders, I am posting again today. Time will be moving a bit faster from here on out, and this story will likely not be exceedingly long(as it stands in my head right now). Hoping you all are still enjoying the ride, and while I haven't had the opportunity to sit down and reply to many reviews, I am very grateful for each and every one you all have sent me so far. Thank you so much. Hopefully will have another chapter ready for posting soon :)**

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"Easy" probably wouldn't be the most accurate term to describe the following months, and it all started almost immediately.

The next morning, I woke with Edward's arms around me, having fallen asleep the night before while talking. Then we both shot out of bed at the sound of a throat clearing, spotting Carlisle at the door, who had come up to let us both know that breakfast was ready, never expecting to find us in the same room. We realized quickly how low the blankets had ridden, thereby exposing our entangled legs, and how close my thigh was to Edward's morning erection. Despite the fact that we were both fully clothed, the intimacy of our embrace when he'd walked in caused his father's eyebrow to lift suspiciously. We explained that we had recently started dating again, but nothing else had happened, either there or at home. However, it was the fierce blush spreading from my forehead to my chest that seemed to be what finally appeased him.

I loved Carlisle. He was a wonderful man and father, but as a minister, his beliefs were firm about premarital sex. So, needless to say, we were observed even more closely that morning until we left, and I decided that if I had to spend the night in Forks for any reason in the near future, I'd opt to stay at my dad's house. Even with me being his only child, my father was a little more open-minded and Edward had implicitly earned his trust with my welfare. Though he did still hint that he would appreciate if we at the very least took precautions to avoid any "unexpected surprises".

The act of dating Edward was honestly not difficult in the slightest, and really not _that_ much different than the closeness we already shared before. The only true changes were the label on our relationship, a few actual dates here and there, the fact that we snuggled on the couch a little more while watching television, and kissing had become something we started doing without thinking, always saying goodnight that way.

Oh, and the wanting. _God_ , the wanting was torture.

We had agreed in our discussion that night in his bedroom that focusing on the basic fundamentals of our relationship exceeded the importance of sex for the time being. Pleasure in the bedroom was not _required_ for a strong relationship, nor in creating a child—it was merely a bonus, and something we knew from the limited experience we'd had with each other would not be an issue in attaining. Therefore, we would concentrate on what was truly important to succeed in what we both wanted; providing a solid and loving family environment for our child, as well as a happy marriage for us.

Edward seemed to be just as content as I was in our relationship as a whole, and we both really enjoyed the affection that we shared. We'd even taken to sleeping in the same bed, and while I would never complain about the warmth and comfort of having his arms around me, the closeness was also adversely having a frustrating effect on me. I'd never been physically _unaffected_ by him, but lying there with him, feeling his body against me as I snuggled to his side, or with him pressed up behind me, it was maddening. Once we kissed goodnight, and he fell asleep, there were many instances where I would lie awake, sometimes for hours, aching for him. Then one night, as he slept, his hand glided up my abdomen and cupped my breast, releasing a soft moan as he squeezed gently, and I bit my lip to keep myself from doing the same. He didn't stir at all after that, so I knew he hadn't woken up, but I turned my head to see him smiling. _Must have been some dream,_ I thought; yet, the fire was officially stoked.

We had committed to complete openness and honesty, but we had also agreed to wait on the physical aspect of our relationship; at least for a little while. As great as things were going, I wasn't quite sure how to approach my boyfriend and delicately say "hey, I know we agreed to wait, but I'm horny as hell and I want to fuck your brains out."

 _Yeah, that's romantic._ Not to mention, it wasn't exactly how I wanted things to be with Edward that time around.

So, on that particular night, I'd made sure he was still asleep and then carefully slipped out of bed, making my way to my old bedroom to take matters into my own hands and relieve the tension. I had continued to do so over the passing weeks, on the more unbearable nights, and then tiptoe back down the hall and slide right back into bed beside him, with Edward none the wiser…

Or so I thought.

In the middle of the night after one such escape to my room, I woke to the feeling of a cold bed beside me. The February chill that had settled in over the last few days cooled the sheets and blankets so much faster, but Edward's scent was still heavy in the air around me, so I knew he hadn't been gone long. Then, I heard the shower start up, which was _very_ strange, even more so when I checked my phone to see the time. It was barely three a.m.

Had he gotten a call from the hospital that I had somehow not heard? I didn't think it was his week to do his scheduled graveyard shift rounds through the pediatric ward—had I gotten my timetable messed up?

Then, I heard a groan from down the hall, and it sounded like Edward was in pain. I quickly rose from the bed and hurried toward the bathroom, and in my worry, threw the door open. "Edward, are you all ri—oh my God!"

He stumbled in the shower and caught himself on the wall, while I ran back to the bedroom. Even with the steam clouding the shower door, there was absolutely no mistaking what had been going on—Edward had been masturbating, and I had barged in there and interrupted him.

I was still sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the wall when he came back into the room a minute later, with just a towel wrapped around his waist. "What the hell, Bella?"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, unable to look him in the eyes and very close to tears. "I heard a noise and I thought something was wrong. I didn't mean to…disturb you."

Edward was far too quiet for a beat, and I slid off the bed to the floor, hiding my face in my knees. His voice was closer than I expected when he finally spoke again. "I think we should talk, Bella."

"I really am sorry. I shouldn't have barged in and invaded your privacy like that." I was near hyperventilation when I felt him settle onto the floor beside me and wrap his arm around my shoulders. "This is it, huh?"

"What? No. I'm not mad, but it does seem that we have a problem," he said softly and turned my face toward him with his fingertips. "We haven't been entirely honest with each other, and we need to solve that right now. This is not the first middle of the night shower for me."

"What?" I asked in a breathy whisper, and he gently pressed his lips to my forehead.

"We may have agreed to wait, but that doesn't make me any less of a man than you are a woman. I'm far from being unaffected by you." Edward's eyes locked on mine when I looked up at him. Even with the room as dimly lit as it was, with only the soft illumination from the hallway, there was no mistaking the desire burning in his gaze. "I'm just clearly less discreet than you are."

My eyes widened, and I forgot to breathe for a moment, as the gravity of what he'd just said hit me. _He knew_. My face burst into flames and I looked down, but his fingers remained in place to hold my chin up. "Obviously not."

My name was soft on his lips as he pulled me toward him until I was straddling his legs. "My goal here isn't to embarrass you, and that's the only reason that I haven't been as forthcoming as I should have. You know I'm a light sleeper, Bella. I've felt you get out of bed every time since that first night. And after all these years, I know what your vibrator sounds like, even when it's muffled."

I started to shift away from him, but his hands held me in place at my hips. He even knew that I tried muffling the noise under a pillow— _just perfect_. Put the cherry on top of my heaping sundae of humiliation.

"Why are you so embarrassed?" Edward inquired, and I felt his thumb tracing lightly along the skin of my sides, where my shirt failed to cover.

"Why are _you_?" I countered—yup, totally deflecting. "You said yourself that you weren't forthcoming with me, sneaking out to take showers in the middle of the night. Why didn't _you_ say something?"

"First of all, I'm _not_ embarrassed. Although, having you catch me jerking off in the shower might not be high on the list of anything I would want to happen again, I'm not embarrassed by the fact that I do it from time to time. Secondly, yes, I admit that I was in the wrong, too. How are we ever going to have sex if we can't even feel comfortable telling each other that we're horny?"

I laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation; for some reason, that word sounded really strange on Edward's lips. However, there was no denying the truth in his statement. "It's not necessarily that I don't feel comfortable in telling you that. We just agreed to wait, and I didn't want to push things too far, too fast, and ruin everything we've been working to build here. How was I supposed to broach that subject with you, especially when you seemed cool as a cucumber?"

"Far from it, Bella. Obviously," he replied, gesturing down between us with his eyes, where a very noticeable rise of the towel around his waist was showing. "And the same way I should have when I started spending more time with my hand in the last few weeks than I did back in high school. Sit down and talk with me. Nothing was set in stone here, and we want completely open communication, right?"

I nodded and noticed that I had unconsciously brought my hand to his hair, playing with the ends at his neck with my fingertips. "I just really want to do it all right this time. Everything has been so amazing so far, and I'm really enjoying the simplicity and ease between us. But clearly, my hormones are not in agreement with that."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Edward responded with a chuckle, his hands now running along my thighs. "Wouldn't it be more concerning if there was no desire present at all?"

Sighing heavily, I inched a little closer to him. "Of course, it would, but I also don't want things to change between us, either."

"Change is needed sometimes, Bella. Without change, there will be no progression, and things would be no different in June than they were in December, aside from a little kissing and sleeping next to each other. We have to start somewhere," he replied, and I nodded shakily, my breaths trembling with my nervousness. I closed my eyes with a hard swallow and felt his touch leave me, but I didn't look at him until he quietly asked me to. "I didn't say jump into bed right now. I'm just talking about having a discussion about the next step for us and being honest about how we feel and what we want."

"I want _you_ ," I whispered, shifting slightly on his lap. "I want you to touch me and to be able to touch you."

"Then what's stopping you?" Edward asked, resting his head back against the mattress. "Because honestly, the only thing that's giving me pause about the situation is that you feel more comfortable sneaking off to your old room than telling me that you want me."

"I'm just worried about moving too fast, and hey, you sneak off for showers, Captain Hypocrisy," I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yes, I do. Only when I can't will away a painful situation, however. Which usually occurs on nights I've woken up to you leaving and then hear you get yourself off. Unfortunately, I am a red-blooded male, and things like that have an effect on me. There are only so many ways to take care of that problem other than sex, and _we_ needed to be ready for that as a couple," Edward replied, and then suddenly went quiet, his eyes gazing at me intently. "I want to try something, Bella. And if you feel it's too much at any time, say the word and I will stop immediately, okay?"

The look on his face made me a little nervous, but I trusted Edward implicitly and knew that he would never do anything intentional to make me uncomfortable. I nodded affirmatively and felt his hands return to my legs, gliding from my knees to my thighs. My skin felt warm under his touch, and yet, I shivered—I really did want him, so much.

"You say you want me to touch you, and god knows, I want you to touch me. So, how about this," Edward began, taking hold of my hands and unfolding my arms between us. "Touch me anywhere, wherever you want me to touch you, starting anywhere above the waist, and we'll go from there, okay?"

"Okay," I replied in barely above a whisper and swallowed hard, my hands trembling slightly against his.

"Bella, we can stop anytime. All you have to do is say…"

I cut him off with a firm kiss, deeper than any we had shared so far, and his answering moan stoked the fire burning hot within me. Pulling away somewhat breathless, my forehead pressed to his before I spoke. "I don't want to stop. I'm just trying to decide where I want to touch you first."

Edward's responding smile gave me the needed encouragement to bring my hands to his face, tracing the edge of his jaw with my fingertips. My eyes closed for a moment as he mirrored the movement, the innocent touch igniting more within me than anything I'd ever felt before. I focused my gaze on him again and saw his running along the length of my neck, and I watched his Adam's apple bob when I trailed a slow path over it with my finger. Again, he matched my movement with his own, and I couldn't help but shiver at his light touch.

My hands ran over his shoulders and arms, along his sides and even as low as his abdomen but halted when I reached just below his chest. Every touch we'd exchanged thus far had been, without question, extremely intimate, but still innocent. Now, we were about to head into territory we hadn't crossed since we were teenagers—a sexual boundary of sorts. I removed my hands from him, and as promised, he allowed his to fall to either side of him, stopping immediately.

Yet, the _last_ thing I wanted to do was stop.

"I think we should be on a little more even ground," I rasped, the desire heavily laden in my voice. My eyes never left his as I crossed my arms in front of me, taking hold of my shirt and beginning to lift it from my body. I felt his legs shift beneath me as my bare torso was slowly revealed to him, and he adjusted the towel to cover himself again as it began to fall away. "I know this is kind of breaking the rules, but it's not quite the same for you as it is for me."

Edward's look of confusion only lasted for a moment after I took his hands in mine and brought them to my breasts, moaning as his palms grazed my nipples. The moment he began massaging me with his fingers, my hips began moving of their own accord in response. "Fuck, Bella."

I wanted him, desperately, but the one thing I still _didn't_ want was to have our first time together after all those years, to be a hormone driven fuck on the floor. Yet, I also didn't have any inclination to move from that spot, either.

"Not tonight," he whispered softly, although I could see the same level of desire in his eyes as I felt coursing through my entire body. "Not like this."

Even at a moment like that, it still took my breath away how in sync we were in both mind and body. I leaned forward to brush my lips on his neck, whispering a soft "I love you" against his skin.

"I love you, too. So much," he replied, kissing the base of my throat as well, and I tilted my head to welcome more of the heady sensation. His hands slid around my sides to splay across my lower back, and I arched my body to press my chest to his.

"There's something _I_ want to try," I said, resting my hands on his shoulders and waiting for a response from him. At his nod, I continued. "Sleep is not going to happen in the state either of us are in, but is a vibrator or shower really necessary?"

His fingers came to grip my hips as I pulled my entire body flush with his. For the first time in a decade, I was in deliberate contact with Edward's hardened length, and even with my clothes and his towel between us, it felt so damn good. Every part of me wanted to remove all barriers and take him inside me; I was so turned on by that one simple motion.

However, we needed to take it a small step at a time, and with every success, we were coming closer and closer to having the rest of our lives for everything else.

Instead, I began rolling my hips over him, causing us both to groan loudly at the sensation. I could feel the ridge along the underside of his cock glide back and forth over the entire length of my clit, and the sensation was heavenly, but I needed more. "Lose the towel, Edward."

He stopped and stared at me, shaking his head and holding my hips against him.

"My shorts will stay on. I'm just feeling more of the towel than I am of you. Please," I clarified, holding his face in my hands and kissing him.

Edward drew in a deep breath and continued to gaze at me for a second, but then lifted my hips to part the towel. Without a thought, my eyes fell between us, and I took in the sight of him now completely naked beneath me. My hands twitched to touch him, but as my right one began to lower to take hold of him, he stopped me by wrapping his fingers around my wrist. "If you do that, I won't last. I want to feel you, and make you feel good, too. Just like this."

With that, his hands moved to my hips and brought me back, gliding my thinly shielded clit against him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and our bodies began undulating together, and I could feel my climax building along with my arousal—even sex with him before hadn't felt that good. I watched as the tendons in his neck began to tighten and his breaths picked up. I knew he was close, and I was nearly there myself. I just needed a little more. "Please, baby. Just hold on a little longer."

"I'm trying, but shit, Bella. You feel so fucking good." His voice came out so deep and resonating, it sparked a shiver through my body. His chest vibrated against mine, and I began rocking a little more fervently, feeling him throbbing against me.

"Put your mouth on me," I heaved out in pants, my fingers gripping his hair and guiding him to my breast—if anything would give me that little push, it would be his tongue on my nipple.

And fuck—was I ever right. He managed just the perfect rhythm of circles and flicks, combined with me finding the angle of my hips to hit that needed spot with his cock, and I felt myself shatter only seconds before he began pulsing between my legs.

We could only enjoy a few moments after our climaxes dissipated before we needed to clean up, and in my case, change. Edward was already waiting in the bed for me, and I slid in beside him. I wasted no time snuggling against his side, barely fazed by the fact that he was still naked underneath the blankets.

Settling my head on his chest, I began to draw indistinct patterns along his shoulder and collarbone while he stroked his fingers through my hair. "I'm probably jumping the gun here, and we still have a little further to go, but I'm fairly certain I'll be chucking my pills in June, if not sooner."

Edward's arms circled around me, and I felt his lips press to my hair, followed by his chuckle. "You never know, I could totally suck in bed."

I tilted my head up and gave him a dubious look. "You didn't even suck at eighteen, so shut up."

A soft smile remained on his lips as he leaned down to kiss me, and then his eyes grew serious when he pulled back to gaze at me. "Will you marry me on my birthday?"


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: The last few days have no been kind, and the holiday season is really looming. And as I am one of those people who does a lot of handmade gifts, I am dividing more of my time between writing and crocheting/knitting/cross stitching, etc. I am going to try to avoid it interfering much with this story, but if there are delays, that will likely be the reason why.  
**

 **Thank you all for the support on this story! Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

The words were frozen in my throat…how could I respond to that?

Sure, with every passing day, I was becoming more certain that by the time June rolled around, my answer to Edward would be an unequivocal "yes", to both marriage and a baby. I loved him very deeply, and he had shown me just how much my feelings were reciprocated in the past two months. And clearly, over the previous hour, we'd proven how strong our mutual desire was. However, were we ready to take that plunge in four months?

"What about our families? How would we explain that we suddenly want to rush to get married?" I asked, moving closer to him and draping my leg over his.

"Does it matter?" Edward countered with a shrug of one shoulder. "I love you, Bella. And I know in my heart that I am going to love you every single day for the rest of my life. Making babies with you will be amazing, but what I truly want is _you_. However, I need to know what _you_ want. We can wait, but that decision needs to be based on what is best for _us_ , not what the rest of the world thinks or feels. If you think my birthday is too soon, that's fine, as long as it derives from _your_ reasons, not anyone else's."

My eyes held his as he spoke, while my heart thrummed in my chest. _Did_ it really matter? Would anything our families had to say change how I felt about him, or how much I wanted him? And what _did_ I truly want?

The answer to that was simple—I wanted my dream. The wedding with Edward waiting at the end of the aisle for me. Sharing the experience of creating and bringing a child into the world with the man I'd loved for nearly half my life. I wanted to stop wasting time due to fear and misconceptions. We'd had enough of that.

I traced the outline of his face and then the curve of his lower lip before a smile lifted the corners of my mouth. "I think I would like to try to become pregnant by _my_ birthday."

Edward stared at me contemplatively before realization reached his eyes a moment later. In order to give us a better chance of conceiving by then, as my doctor advised us to expect at least six months to pass before our odds increased, I would need to stop taking my pills immediately. Yet, it also meant that we would need to be married by then as well—not only because of his father, but it was also important to me as well. I wanted all three of us to share the same name and give birth to our child with my _husband_ at my side. "So, you'll marry me in June?"

"I wish I could be all romantic and honestly say that I would marry you tomorrow or take me to the courthouse, but I can't. I _really_ want a wedding, even if it's just a small one. So yes, whatever we can pull together by June would be perfect."

Edward palmed my face, grazing his thumb along my cheekbone before pressing his lips to mine in a searing kiss. After a moment, he hesitantly pulled back, and our foreheads rested together as he drew in long, deep breaths. "As much as I would love to continue and show you just how happy you've made me tonight, we need sleep. You have work in a few hours, and I'm too tired for a full shower."

I shook my head and slid my leg between his, feeling his semi-arousal already forming against my stomach. "I will give up the vibrator if you do the same with the showers, for anything but bathing. _I_ want to be the one to satisfy you, not your hand. Deal?"

Edward groaned, burying his face in my neck. "Fuck. Not helping right now, Bella."

I couldn't help but chuckle as I felt the evidence of his words starting to press more firmly on my lower abdomen. "Okay, I'll be good and go to sleep now."

"So will I. No shower, I promise," Edward murmured, lifting his head and pecking my lips softly. "Good night. I love you."

"Love you, too," I replied as he rolled onto his back, and I snuggled against his side.

.

.

.

Before I left for work the next day, we briefly discussed how we were going to go about telling our families about our official engagement. I was ready to call my dad that day and let him know, but Edward wanted to wait until I had a ring on my finger. I understood to a degree, but I really wanted to begin planning our wedding. It wouldn't be anything elaborate, nor did it need to be, but that didn't mean it would be simple to pull together. There were calls to make, the venue to book, invites to send, and a dress—oh my God, the dress! Even something simple and off the rack would be on the pricey side, and I needed time to not only save up, but to search for it.

It wasn't like me to be so distracted, and I tried to avoid the suspicious looks from the few ladies in the office that day. Even worse, one of the senior lawyers, Mr. Levins, who was meeting with a high-profile client that morning, was shooting me annoyed glances. I was fidgety, my palms were sweating, and I honestly just wanted to go home and tell Edward that he was driving me crazy.

Naturally, Mr. Levins wasn't nearly as lenient as Mr. Biers, so we were there until one o'clock on the dot, even though not a single phone rang that morning aside from his cell and there was literally nothing to do. I was seriously considering taking my name off the list for weekends. Sure, the overtime was great, and the money would come in handy for the wedding and anything that followed, but over the last few months, it hadn't really seemed worth it. There was never much to do, and I didn't particularly enjoy getting paid for doing nothing, and on days like that, it drove me especially nuts.

While Edward and I did spend time together as much as we could, our schedules would often conflict during the day, so sometimes, all we got was the occasional date and snuggling at night.

No wonder we hadn't gotten to the point of actually having sex yet. Just those few hours of uninterrupted time on Saturdays, whenever he had the day off also, would make such a difference. Then, if things went as we'd hoped, I could be drained just from a standard work week without adding another day and four extra hours onto it. However, those were things that I should be discussing with my fiancé, as it would affect us both.

A smile tugged at my lips with that thought as I sat at a red light on the way home. Ring or no ring, Edward was my fiancé, and in four months, he'd be my husband. Just that thought alone made me happier than I had been in a very long time. I punch the gas as soon as the light turned, and after just a few blocks, I was pulling into the parking lot and hurrying up to our apartment.

Once I got the door open, I was taken aback by what I saw—or rather, what I didn't. All the curtains were drawn, so even though it was early afternoon, everything was dark. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check for any messages from Edward, but there was nothing. I flipped the light on in the kitchen to check the fridge for a note, and at first, I saw nothing, since I was looking for his handwriting. Yet, just as I was about to turn off the light and leave, I noticed a pink Post-it note with an arrow pointing toward the hallway. "Edward?"

Silence met my ears, but I felt my phone vibrate in my hand.

 _Come down the hall_ , a text from Edwards stated, and I slipped my shoes off while biting my lip in excitement. I didn't know what he was up to, but I loved when he would do things like that—little surprises that would always bring a smile to my face.

I made my way down the hall and had just reached his room when he texted again with a "turn right", which would lead me into the bedroom we'd been sharing. Reaching down to turn the knob, I opened the door just a crack, and the room wasn't much brighter than the hall. In fact, all I could see was the flickering light from a couple of candles on the dresser.

I pushed it open further and immediately spotted Edward standing at the foot of the bed, dressed in a suit with his hands behind his back. I leaned back against the door when it closed, unable to stop smiling. Damn, he looked good in a suit, and it was definitely a wonderful sight after a long, crappy day. "What are you up to?"

"Just getting something right this time," Edward replied gently, beckoning me toward him with his fingers, and then held his hand out to me. I made my way over to him and took hold of it, and he promptly lifted mine to his lips to kiss the back of it. "You deserve to have this done properly, and the last story I ever want to have to tell our kids is Dad proposed to Mom after a dry hump on the floor."

"For the record, I would never tell our children that," I answered with a laugh, shaking my head.

"Shh, you're ruining my moment here," he teased, his smile wrinkling the corners of his eyes, before he sobered and brought his other hand from behind his back. He knew I was not a big fan of flowers, so instead, he held up a little pink bear holding a heart-shaped pillow that read "I love you."

I took hold of it and hugged it to my chest while Edward stepped closer to me and settled his hands on my waist. "Thank you. I love it. And I love you."

Edward's lips pressed to my forehead as his arm circled around my back, and he was silent for a moment before he spoke against my skin. "I can honestly say that I don't remember what it's like not to love you, Bella. You're my best friend, my partner in crime, and the love of my life. You're exactly who I envisioned when I would think about getting married and having a family, but you're also the only one who ever lived up to those high standards. I can't go back and change the mistakes I've made…"

"That _we_ made," I interrupted and looked up at him with tears filling my eyes. "Not just you."

Edward's hand rose to my cheek and he swept away the wet trail on my skin. "That _we_ made, but I can try my hardest not to make any more. I love you with all my heart, and you truly did make me the happiest man in the world last night when you agreed to marry me. I didn't want to wait to announce it to the world because it was so sudden. It was just that I wanted to properly give you this."

I felt his arm drop from around me and watched as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box as he lowered onto his knee. He opened it and inside was a beautiful ring with a princess cut diamond in the center, framed on either side by a row of smaller diamonds, matching the wedding band resting beneath it. I fought the desire to immediately say "yes" before he could even utter a word, but I managed to restrain myself as he removed the engagement ring and took hold of my left hand.

"Will you, Isabella Swan, say yes just one more time and marry me?"

"Of course," I replied, too overwrought with emotion to even consider teasing him as the best friend in me might have done. Right at that moment, he was Edward, the man I loved and couldn't wait to start spending the rest of my life with, and he deserved that moment as much as I did. Yet, he made no move to put the ring on my finger, and instead, just remained there gazing up at me expectantly. "What?"

Edward's smile fell along with his eyes, and I couldn't imagine what could possibly be wrong. He sighed heavily before speaking again. "Well, _technically_ , you haven't actually said 'yes'."

My lips pursed as I slapped his shoulder when his eyes finally returned to mine with a teasing glint to them. "Here I was, trying to be nice and not tease _you_ , and you go and be a jerk like that."

Edward smirked but was otherwise unfazed as he continued to look up at me, with his eyes clearly saying, "I'm waiting."

I shook my head and decided to get a little payback by feigning deep thought for a moment, feeling just a bit triumphant when his jaw dropped. "If I _must_ , then yes, you dork." My teasing only lasted a moment before tears returned to my eyes, and I tightened my hold on his hand. "Yes, I will _definitely_ marry you."

It was worth it to see his smile as he slid the ring onto my finger, and then quickly stood up to pull me into his arms and kiss me soundly.

When we finally parted, I gazed up at him and shook my head. "We are definitely keeping _that_ part out of the story for our kids."

"I don't know," Edward replied with his hands linked behind my back, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Are we really going to change all that much once we get married and have kids?"

I looked up at him, playing with his hair with my fingertips. "No, I sure as hell hope not."

"Then they will probably come to expect such things anyway."

I couldn't deny it; that was exactly who Edward and I had always been, and hopefully, that would never change. As we stood holding each other, I rested my head on his shoulder and gazed at my hand where it lay on his chest. The ring really was extraordinarily beautiful, and I didn't want to think of how much the set had cost him. It was absolutely perfect, but one thing _did_ cross my mind. "When did you get this? I know there's no way you just ran to the jewelry store this morning and picked something like this out."

Edward chuckled and brought his hand up to cover mine, lifting it to press a kiss to my palm. "I actually ordered it about a month ago and picked it up last Wednesday. I _did_ have every intention of waiting until June, though."

"I'm glad you didn't," I replied with a smile, gazing up at him. "We've wasted enough time, right?"

Reaching over to the dresser, I set the small bear on top and then turned back to Edward, framing his face with my hands and kissing him with a fierce desire. I felt his touch glide down my lower back and over the curve of my ass, causing us both to moan softly.

"Now, you can tell anyone you like. I'm officially and completely yours," Edward whispered against my lips, and when I gazed up into his eyes, my knees nearly gave out at the intensity in them, highlighted by the reflection of the flickering light of the candles.

I trailed my hand between us and circled his tie around my fingers, shaking my head slowly. "Tomorrow. We can tell everyone tomorrow. Today is for us, and right now, all I really want is to make love to my fiancé."

Our eyes remained locked as I gently tugged him back toward the bed, pulling his body down on top of me as I lowered onto it. His lips met mine with a slow, tender passion I had never felt from him before in all of our kisses, stoking the fire burning deep within me. Only one more thing was needed to make our moment complete.

I turned my head away from him, obviously confusing him as to why I broke our kiss, until he saw the path my hand was taking. My fingers curled around the handle of the bedside table drawer and pulled it open, rummaging in the dim light until I found what I was looking for. "We won't be needing these."

Edward smiled as I released my hold on both the pink compact containing my birth control and the box of condoms we'd stowed away there as an extra precaution when the time came. At the sound of the objects falling into the trash bin, I circled my arms around his neck, and his eyes searched mine. "Are you sure?"

My hand found its way to his hair, running through the soft strands as I nodded. "Positive. Whether we get pregnant right away or it takes months, I want this with you. I am ready to have our baby whenever it decides to happen. And until then, the trying will be amazing."

The lines at the corners of his eyes deepened and his lips returned to mine, kissing me firmly as I slid my hands beneath the lapels of his jacket, guiding it over his broad shoulders. Piece by piece, we began undressing one another, taking the time to revel in every inch of skin revealed. My breath caught as he lifted me off the bed to straddle his lap, followed by a soft whimper as my hips settled over his, and I felt his length pressed between my legs. That time, there was no barrier of clothing between us as there had been the night before, and I swallowed hard.

 _One shift of my hips, and I could take him inside me as I have only fantasized about for more than ten years,_ I thought to myself, but mentally shook it off. _No rushing tonight. We have plenty of time for that._

Edward's hands glided upward along my sides, and then slowly began unbuttoning my blouse. As it slipped down my arms, he leaned toward me and brushed his lips against my throat, and my thighs tightened on either side of his hips in anticipation. "Patience, my love."

My fingers clasped on his biceps as I felt his warm breath on my skin. "Haven't we been patient long enough?"

His eyes held mine as I released my hold on his arms, reaching back to unclasp my bra, letting it fall from my body and tossing it to the floor. He seemed to pause for a moment to trail his gaze over my body before deftly lowering me to lie back on the mattress again and taking my nipple between his lips. I arched into him, pressing my breast more firmly against his mouth as every single nerve ending seemed to tingle just beneath my skin. "God, I love you, Edward."

With one last circle of his tongue on my pebbled flesh, he lifted his head to gaze down at me, brushing the backs of his fingers against my cheek. "I love you, too, Bella."

My arms circled around him again as he situated himself between my legs, pausing at my entrance while he seemingly asked with his eyes if I was ready. At my nod, he slowly began pressing inside me, and my breaths came in short bursts. As our bodies molded together, I was again overcome with emotion as I stretched to accommodate him until he was fully seated within me.

Edward may not have been my only, though that would have been the ultimate in romantic notions, but he was my first, and now, he would be my last, as well. Everything we had gone through to bring us to that moment had been worth it. He was mine, and I was his, and we had officially begun the next stage of our journey together.

That thought was emphasized as he drew back and made his first full thrust inside me, and I moaned as I clung to his back. His own grunt was muffled against my neck and his hips began moving in a slow rhythm, while I brought my leg higher along his side. I felt his muscles tense as he sank deeper within me, lifting his head so that his eyes met mine and his pelvis rolled against my sensitive flesh.

I hadn't been sure what to expect from the first time Edward and I made love again, especially after we had both hit significant dry spells before we got together, relying only on self-pleasure. To be honest, the thought had crossed my mind that it would end before it had really started, just as awkward and fumbling as it had been when we were teenagers. Yet, that couldn't have been further from the reality.

I may not have been on the brink of constant orgasm the whole time, but something as ridiculous as that could stay in the confines of a Harlequin romance novel. The sensation of having Edward fill me over and over again was more intense than anything I had ever experienced, even with him. The physical pleasure ignited by his motions was undeniable—he definitely knew how to work my body and stimulate me until I was meeting him thrust for thrust, coaxing my release closer to the surface. However, the intimacy and love flowing between us so potently brought me to climax more strongly than any angle or movement of our bodies.

Gradually, I felt Edward's back tighten beneath my palms, and his breaths became more erratic. Beads of perspiration began to form on his forehead and his lips claimed my moan at the increased friction as he pulsed inside me with his own release. His body tremored for a few moments once he relaxed on top of me as he brushed kisses along my collarbone, and my fingers found their way to his hair.

"The trying will _definitely_ be amazing," he mumbled against my skin and we both shared a chuckle.

"I agree. Just promise me something," I whispered in return, and he lifted his head to look at me again, gazing at me in question. "We both know it could be a while before anything happens. But no matter how long it takes, I want us to agree that we won't become one of those couples who revolves their entire sex life around monthly cycles and body temperatures. I want to have a baby, but I don't want to lose this. Because this is what needs to remain long after our kids are conceived, born, and even off to college."

Edward's eyes looked deeply into mine, and he nodded. "I promise. It will happen when it's meant to happen, Bella. Not only could worrying about all that scientific crap hinder our success, but I refuse to allow it to take precedence over _us_."

"Did you really just call it 'scientific crap', Dr. Cullen?" I asked, unable to hide my giggle, especially when he gave my hip a gentle pinch with a playful snarl and lightly nipped at my neck. After a moment, he rolled onto his back, and I snuggled against his side, our arms encasing one another. "It just sounded funny coming from someone whose entire profession is based quite significantly on science."

"Science is definitely important and should never be discounted, but some things, you just need to leave it to time and faith," he replied and tilted his head down to meet my eyes when I gazed up at him. "And I have faith that, in time, this will happen for us. Not everything can be calculated and planned precisely. Would take a lot of joy and surprise out of life, wouldn't it?"

I nodded slowly as I stroked his cheek, and then traced a path along his lower lip. "I really do love you."

"I know," he replied, kissing my fingertips as he took my hand, then pressed his lips to my palm as well. "And I love you more than life."


	8. Chapter 7

Naturally, nothing happened that first month—or the second or third, for that matter. My period arrived on cue like clockwork, but if I were being completely honest, I was okay with that.

The moment we officially announced our engagement to our families, friends and co-workers, as well as our desired wedding date, things began moving at such a fast pace, I had difficulty keeping up as it was. I couldn't even begin to imagine how it would be with morning sickness, frequent trips to the bathroom, and all the other joys of early pregnancy combined with the madness that came from planning a wedding in four months.

As expected, Edward's father had reacted with a hint of suspicion behind the rush. It ceased shortly thereafter, following a highly embarrassing incident in my future in-laws' kitchen when I'd lost track of my days. The said event sent us home earlier than expected that evening, in need of a change of clothes, and my wonderful fiancé to the store for tampons and chocolate.

 _My_ father's reaction was a little more surprising.

"About damn time. Took you two long enough," he said casually, taking a sip from his beer and relaxing further into his recliner. "Thought I was going to have to physically knock your heads together before you smartened up on your own."

Edward and I gazed at each other in surprise and then returned our eyes to my dad, who unapologetically shrugged.

"Had to let you kids figure it out for yourselves. If I'd said a damn word, this one's stubborn streak would have only gotten worse, and she'd have married one of those damn losers she dated after you, just to spite me."

I gasped, my mouth dropping open as he gestured toward me with his thumb, with a loud exclamation of "Dad!", but even Edward had to nod his head in agreement after a moment. Try as I did to deny it, I really couldn't. Without a mom to fight against in my teenage years, I seemed to have instinctually doubled down on my dad. I likely _would_ have put up more resistance than I already had, or worse, rebelled completely, if he had tried urging me toward Edward.

Admitting it out loud was something entirely different, however.

I was still putting on my sulking act that night after our long drive back to Seattle, and Edward crawled into bed behind me and kissed my neck. "Baby, even if he _was_ wrong, which we both know he's not, what difference would it make? We're here. We're getting married. And with any luck, by this time next year, we will have yet another reason to celebrate."

A smile finally broke through as his lips ghosted along my skin with his words toward my ear, while his palm splayed across my lower abdomen. "Guess I've been kinda proving his point by being a brat today, huh?"

Edward hummed against my hair, pulling my back more firmly against his chest. "In a word, yes."

"Can always count on you for honesty," I replied with a small laugh, turning in his arms to face him. "I'd say that means we're off to a pretty good start then."

The next morning, I woke to a notification from my bank that a sum of ten thousand dollars had been deposited into my account, along with a text from my father.

 _Been saving this for a while. Hope it helps some to give you the wedding you want. I love you, baby._

Yeah, my dad really was pretty amazing.

I sat and stared between the text and my bank balance with tears flowing for nearly a half an hour before Edward woke up and came out to find me sobbing on the couch. It took another five minutes after that of him holding me and waiting for me to explain what was going on before I could utter a word.

I knew that my dad had been saving since the day I was born for my college education and had consistently added money to my account each semester. If it wasn't for him, I would have either still been in hefty debt with student loans or I would have struggled between working my ass off and school work, since I barely got enough financial aid to cover my tuition.

However, paying for my wedding was something I never would have asked him to do, as he was far from a rich man. So, for him to have set aside that much money, on top of what he had for my college, to ensure that I had funds for a wedding, made me want to call him and apologize for every bratty or even bitchy thing I had ever said or done in my life toward him.

After showing Edward my bank balance, as well as the message from my dad, he too was absolutely stunned into silence. "Whoa" was the most he was eventually able to manage in response.

I made a decision at that moment—I was going to have the most beautiful wedding I could pull off, something my father had clearly been waiting for, for a very long time. It would still be _our_ day, while also giving him the dream he'd held in his heart.

 _I love you, too, Dad. Thank you so much,_ I finally texted back to him and made a beeline to shower and dress for the day.

I had a wedding to plan.

.

.

.

"I can't do this," I exclaimed in frustration, throwing my binder onto the coffee table with a growl.

It had been more than two months of non-stop organizing, phone calls, and emails, and now, I'd just gotten a message that my reservation for the reception venue had to be cancelled due to a roof collapse and extensive water damage. Everything else had been far out of my price range, even when I had a multitude of options. Now the time was ticking and limiting my options all the more.

"Baby, it's not that big of a deal," Edward said from the kitchen, where he was washing the dishes from dinner. "We can find somewhere else. Hell, I wouldn't care if the reception was in a McDonald's."

I narrowed my eyes and glared daggers at him from across the room. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that, since I would hate to cut you off tonight and send you to sleep right here." I paused to point at the couch, and then shook my head. "You know how I feel about this, Edward."

He dried off his hands and tossed the towel onto the counter, and then made his way into the living room and crouched down in front of me. "Yes, I do. All I'm saying is that it could be a lot worse. We have the date booked with the church, the flowers and cake are ordered, as is your dress, which I'm sure is absolutely breathtaking, and my tux is reserved. Your father is going to see his baby get married in a gorgeous wedding. This is just one small snag that we still have two months…"

"Six and a half weeks," I corrected him with tears forming in my eyes from the stress mounting within me, despite the words of comfort he was attempting to bestow. "And I had barely been able to budget in _this_ place to begin with."

"Even six and a half weeks isn't an impossible measure of time. And if it costs a little more, I have my savings account." I began to interrupt him again with a protest, but he silenced me with his fingertips to my lips while his other hand rested on my thigh. "This is _our_ wedding. That money your father gave you was a godsend, but what would we have been doing without it? I'll make more money, but you are going to have the wedding you want. We could even have the reception in the park, outside. Have tents in case it rains, but it won't be too cold, at least. Wherever you want, that can be managed in six and a half weeks, we'll figure it out. Nothing matters to me more than being able to call you my wife by the end of my birthday."

I was finally able to manage a smile and began tracing his jawline with my fingers. "You sure are a sweet talker, Mr. Cullen. But thank you, even though I'm still going to try keeping everything as under budget as possible. As much as I want the perfect wedding, our marriage is what is truly important to me. You know that, right?"

"I do," Edward whispered, leaning forward to kiss me gently. My arms circled around his neck and pulled him closer to deepen it, while my ankles hooked behind his thighs. His fingers pressed into my hips, and I scooted forward, running my hand into his hair. "I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and assume that you're in the clear?"

With a nod, I captured his lips and pulled him up onto the couch with me, maneuvering our bodies until I was straddling his legs.

In the past two months, Edward and I had developed a routine when it came to our sex life. During the first week or so following that first night together, we made love nightly, twice if we had the energy, and then my first period hit. I'd always had a very strict rule that I refused to have sex until it had been gone for at least three days, which used to drive my boyfriends crazy. They couldn't understand why I still didn't feel comfortable having any kind of attention paid to that area of my body once the obvious had passed. Though, honestly, neither could I. It was just one of my weird quirks that even _I_ still hadn't puzzled out. Edward, on the other hand, took it in stride, though I suspected at least one shower had occurred in that time—he flat out denied it, of course.

However, by the end of that first cycle, after two years of abstinence and barely a week of Edward, suffice it to say, I was once again raring to go with my hormones in high gear. I felt utterly ridiculous—like I was twenty-nine going on sixteen. While sex with Edward had been great, the last thing I wanted was to "make love", as we had only done so far. We hadn't wanted to take the chance of conceiving with anything but a loving and intimate encounter, but I needed him badly, and gentle wouldn't cut it.

After I'd pinned him on his back and ridden him hard—twice—we had a long talk. As much as I hated the idea of structuring our sex life around a time table, something had to give. We both wanted to have a baby, that much was obvious, but not as a result of something so raunchy and desperate, if at all possible. So, we agreed that between the day I started ovulating and my period, we would take things slow and gentle, but once it ended, all bets were off until ovulation began again.

It _was_ a bit tedious, and initially something I _didn't_ want, but I had also seriously underestimated how exponentially my desire for Edward would grow as time passed. It also hadn't taken anything away from our intimacy, regardless of how we went about it, so in the end, what did it matter?

"I'm also guessing that we're not making it to the bedroom first?" Edward asked breathlessly as I began kissing his neck while my fingers worked the t-shirt up his torso.

Pulling back from him long enough to pull it over his head and toss it behind me, I shook my head and took hold of his face. "Maybe for round two."

Edward groaned loudly as I rocked my hips against him, his hands grasping a firm hold on my ass. "You remember I have to work tonight, right?"

"Well, we'd better get a move along then, huh?" I whispered huskily as he divested me of my tank, while I began to make quick work of his pants. I gasped in surprise when Edward suddenly flipped our bodies, kneeling on the floor between my legs and shoving his clothing to pool at his knees. "You anxious, too, baby?"

"I only have less than an hour and a half before I have to leave," he replied in a gravelly voice, removing my shorts and underwear in one fell swoop as well. "And I need you, Bella."

After a gentle tug on my hips to bring me to the edge of the cushion, he positioned himself at my entrance and then thrust inside me in one fluid motion. My breath was stolen from me for several moments and his urgent movements began, causing me to arch my back and clasp his shoulders tightly with my hands. "Fuck, Edward!"

I felt his fingers grip my hips until it pinched a little, pulling me into his thrusts. "Should be careful what you ask for, baby."

Opening my eyes to look at him, I found a playful smirk on his lips, and I reciprocated his challenge by digging the heels of my feet into his ass. His body shuddered against me as the action pressed him deeper inside me, and I grinned right back at him. "You make it sound as if I'm complaining. Besides, remember that it was _you_ that woke this beast."

"No complaints here, either," he responded breathlessly, sliding his hands beneath me, arching my back more and closing his lips around my nipple.

I felt the light pinch of his teeth, and it sent a warm rush of sensation down my abdomen and straight to where we were joined. He was close— _very_ close—and so was I. My hand released his shoulder and moved between us, rubbing myself briskly and skimming the base of his cock with my fingertips.

His mouth released my breast and his head fell backward with a loud groan, and I just barely reached my peak when I felt him pulsing inside me with his release. As his forehead lowered to rest against mine, my fingers rose to run through his hair as we both labored to catch our breaths.

"You really _didn't_ have any 'shower time' this week, did you?" I commented with a chuckle once I could finally speak again.

Edward opened his eyes to meet mine, rolling them after a moment. "I told you I didn't. And yes, Bella, I am quite aware that my stamina sucks right now."

"I wasn't saying that, Edward," I replied as he shifted to sit on the floor, and I stretched myself along the couch behind him and turned his chin with my fingers to kiss him. "You just tend to be a little more…shall we say, _energetic_ when you haven't had any release at _all_ in a while. This is the _only_ thing I will miss when we have a baby."

Edward's brow furrowed, gazing at me questioningly. "Having sex?"

I chuckled, lightly brushing my lips along his neck. "No, not just having sex in general. _That_ better _never_ stop." I felt the shake of his shoulder with his corresponding laugh and then lifted my head to kiss him gently. "Just spontaneous, in the moment sex. Hopefully, we'll have a pair of innocent eyes around that we wouldn't want to see anything like what just happened."

Edward's smile lit up his entire face and he leaned in to brush one more kiss on my lips. "We'll figure it out. We won't lose this."

"Just have to get more creative, huh?" I whispered against his jaw as my hand trailed down his stomach, toward his already returning erection.

He took hold of my wrist with a chuckle, raising onto his knees to face me. "As much as I would love to, Bella, I _really_ need to hop in the shower and get ready for work. The hospital doesn't take the excuse of 'I was busy having sex with my fiancée' as a valid reason to be late."

"Or we could kill two birds with one stone and give that shower a _proper_ christening," I called over my shoulder as he stood to head toward the bathroom, and he paused, glancing back at me.

Edward appeared to mull it over in his mind for a moment, before reaching down for my hand and gently tugging me off the couch. "You're gonna kill me, woman, and I'm totally okay with that."


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: I sincerely apologize for the delay in posting this next chapter, but the holidays were crazy, and I've had a few things come up in the meantime, so I haven't had the time to sit down and write much of anything at all. I've almost got everything sorted but will likely not have a lot of time still in the next week or so. I'm hoping no more after that, however. Thank you for your patience and all your kind words about this story. I'm still blown away by the response. Hope you enjoy, and I also hope to have more out to you all soon. Take care!**

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My stomach was in knots, even though pretty much everything had fallen into place. Between reserving the area of the park just down the road from the church and the extra provisions, such as tents, collapsible tables and chairs, and place settings, we'd only had to use a little over a hundred dollars from Edward's savings, which was a relief. I thought I'd finally be able to relax and allow myself to revel in the fact that I was about to marry the love of my life.

Until two days before the wedding, when I woke up vomiting violently.

At first, I thought, _maybe this is it_ , but then the test came back negative, and I continued getting sick into the afternoon. Tack on the fact that I had gotten a phone call from my maid of honor, Angela, saying that she was also throwing up, and we'd been the only ones to have chicken at the bachelorette dinner the night before, I was led to one conclusion.

Food poisoning— _perfect_.

I lay on my future in-laws' couch, with my head on Edward's lap, as he periodically alternated between wiping down my sweaty forehead and comforting me through my tears. "Bella, the worst of food poisoning usually passes after twenty-four hours. I'm sure you'll be just fine by Saturday."

"But what if I'm not, and I end up…" I paused as another wave of nausea hit me, and I barely got my head over the bucket before vomiting again. Once I'd settled back onto his lap, he placed the cool facecloth across my forehead and wiped my mouth with a paper towel. Then I continued my statement. "Doing _that_ , only all over _you_ at the altar instead?"

"Then I kiss your forehead and pay the extra dry-cleaning fee on the tux when I return it," Edward replied, and I rolled my eyes, but nuzzled my cheek against his thigh as his fingers stroked lightly through my hair. "I told you, Bella. The only thing that is important to me is being able to call you my wife by the end of the day, and I'd be making a pretty poor start to this husband thing if I broke a vow before I even made it, right?"

I gave a weak chuckle and pulled the blanket more securely around my shoulders. "You really don't need to take that 'in sickness and in health' thing quite so literally. I'm sure you have better things to do than to sit around watching me puke all day."

"Such as?" Edward asked, swiping away a few stray hairs that were clinging to my sweaty cheek. "I'm on vacation, everything on the wedding to-do list you gave me is checked off, and the only thing I have on my social calendar is marrying this smoking hot woman on Saturday. So nope, completely free."

"I already agreed to marry you _and_ I've put out. You don't need to butter me up," I grumbled into his leg as another chill passed through me. He chuckled softly as he rubbed along my arm through the blanket in an attempt to warm me. "Anything is better than holding my hair back while I throw up."

"Bella," Edward chided, his touch stilling on my shoulder, and I turned my head enough to look up at him. "Where would _you_ be if our roles were reversed right now?"

"Rolling my eyes and telling you what a big baby you are," I replied honestly, because it was true. Even with being a doctor, he was the typical _man_ when he got sick, whether it was an all-out flu bug or a mild sore throat. Not that I was much better at that moment—but the circumstances were not exactly ordinary. My _wedding_ was in two days; one I had dreamed of for the majority of fifteen years and never thought I would have. Not many women got to marry their first love, but I was. I wanted everything to be _perfect_ , and instead, I was puking while lying in my fiancé's lap.

"Aside from that," he answered with a groan, but there was still a smile in his eyes. "You'd still be _here_ , telling me off, not off shopping or something, right?"

"I wouldn't even do that on a _good_ day," I muttered grumpily, but his gaze held mine intently. "Yes, I'd be here taking care of you, too…jerk."

Edward laughed, pressing his lips to his fingertip and then gently tapping my nose with it. "So, there you go. Aside from it being my job to take care of you as your soon-to-be husband, I _want_ to be here. And you're gonna have to get used to it soon anyway."

Closing my eyes, I snuggled against his thigh again, groaning for effect. "You're not going to be one of those over-bearing husbands when I finally do get pregnant, constantly asking me if I'm okay or need anything, are you? Because that will _seriously_ get on my nerves."

I felt the slight shake of his laughter and gripped his knee in an effort to still his movements before my stomach began churning any more. "I'll do my best to keep it to a minimum, my love."

.

.

.

If there was one thing I learned from that experience, aside from not eating chicken for a while…I needed a lesson in listening to the doctor.

By the next morning, the vomiting had stopped, and the chills had passed; I only felt a bit of leftover exhaustion. Edward had fallen asleep sitting up, with my head in his lap, having maneuvered a pillow between my cheek and his leg, and wrapped a blanket around his own shoulders.

As much as I had grumbled the day before, I had to admit, I kind of liked the way he took care of me, while most men would get antsy after a few hours. Best of all, I knew it wasn't just some pre-wedding novelty—it was just Edward, as he'd always been in all the years I'd known him. Throughout the morning, he made sure I rehydrated and at least ate some crackers, got me in and out of the tub so I didn't feel as grungy, and otherwise, just let me rest for the remainder of the day.

Saturday morning, I woke from a full night of sleep, feeling so much better—but I was in bed, without Edward, and that time, it had nothing to do with his parents. _He_ had been the one to insist on the "time-honored tradition" that the groom not see the bride on their wedding day until she was walking down the aisle and had made arrangements to stay with Alice and Jasper the night before.

He was such a dork and a hopeless romantic—and I loved him for it. I was just really anxious to see him, and ridiculously missed him like crazy.

"You have many years in front of you. A few hours will fly by, sweetheart," Esme reassured me as I fidgeted through breakfast, only managing a piece of toast.

Fortunately, she was right. As soon as Alice and Angela arrived, and we all began getting ready, every time I checked my watch, it seemed to be ticking just that much faster. By ten o'clock, I was near hyperventilation.

"I have to be at the church in an hour, and I don't even have my dress on yet," I said with tears forming in my eyes.

"Bella Swan, don't you dare," Alice said, taking hold of my shoulders and turning me toward her. "Your dress is _literally_ a slip on and zip up, and then it's just the finishing touches left. Ten minutes tops, and the church is a five-minute drive away. You are going to be just fine."

I met her eyes and nodded, finally able to take a deep breath. I was very thankful for Alice, and if there was anything positive about Edward and I taking so long to figure everything out, it was that. If we had been getting married right after high school, or even anywhere between then and college, she likely would have been panicking right along side of me, and only amping up my anxiety. Yet, after marrying Jasper, and even more since the birth of Camden, she had mellowed out a _lot_ , and it was that calming effect that I needed at that moment.

"And my brother is going to lose his _mind_ when he sees you. You two are gonna have a _really_ good night tonight," Alice whispered in my ear when she pulled the dress up my body and began zipping it up.

I tried my best to contain my blush as well as I could, with Esme standing only feet away, but a smile lit up my face as well. I had been anxious to see Edward's reaction to my dress from the moment I stepped in front of the mirror in the bridal shop and decided it was _the one_.

My specifications had not been easy to meet. Not too flashy, but not bland. Beautiful, but nothing that would give my father-in-law—or my own dad—a heart attack from the abundance of cleavage. So, modest, but not something that would make me feel like I was getting married in the Victorian era. No taffeta, not _too_ much lace, but still enough that I would feel like a princess for one day. Of course, it also wouldn't hurt one bit if my future husband was rendered a little speechless when he saw me as well.

And I wanted a chapel-length veil. From the time I was little, I'd always envisioned getting married with a long veil cascading down my back and covering my face, only to be lifted by my husband once we'd exchanged our vows, to share our first kiss as man and wife.

Yup—I was _that_ girl.

Esme had burst into tears when I told her that one day in the midst of the early stages of the wedding planning. I'd glanced at Alice nervously, but when I was met by her smile and the shake of her head, I knew I couldn't have upset her mother _too_ badly.

After several minutes, Esme returned with a garment bag draped across her arms, unzipping it to reveal an exquisite, but extravagant, wedding gown. At first, I was confused—while beautiful, it was everything I _didn't_ want in a dress. It was heavily decorated in lace and beading on both the bodice and skirt, and the neckline went halfway up the throat. I would have felt as if I was being choked, yet I didn't want to insult her by saying any of those things.

However, her purpose was revealed when Alice stood to help her remove the protective covering, and behind it was a comparatively simple, despite its length, wedding veil, that was exactly what I had imagined.

Now, standing there in front of the mirror as Alice and Angela secured it into place, the full effect finally hit me. The entire ensemble was exactly what I envisioned when I was a little girl. The simple satin skirt with a train that trailed just a foot behind me, and delicate lace covering the bodice and down my arms, while leaving my shoulders and neck tastefully exposed. To me, it was the perfect combination of elegant and beautiful, with that hint of sexiness that I knew Edward would love.

I was so ready to marry the man who had filled the missing pieces of my soul, and that I loved immeasurably.

My stomach fluttered as I heard a soft knock on the door, and Esme opened it to reveal my father standing there, looking so handsome in his tux, I nearly started crying. His eyes took me in, and I could see the tears starting to well within them as he approached me.

"Wow," he whispered as he approached me, taking my hands and holding them out to gaze at me. I could see in his eyes the twenty-nine years of waiting for that moment, from the instant he held that wailing pink bundle in the hospital—to walk his baby girl, all grown up, down the aisle. "You look absolutely breathtaking, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad," I replied with a smile, still fighting back tears.

He released my hands and held his elbow out to me. "You ready?"

I glanced back at Alice and Angela, who had already gathered our bouquets and were holding onto the small train to keep it from dragging in the dirt outside. Then I nodded, taking my father's arm. "Yeah, ready as I'll ever be."

The instant I settled into the waiting limo, I felt my nerves inexplicably rise. What was I nervous about? Wasn't this exactly what I had been dreaming of, not only for the past four months, but since I was a teenager? I was about to become Mrs. Edward Cullen and marry my best friend. I should feel like the luckiest woman in the world, getting everything I ever wanted. So, why was I so scared?

I felt my father's hand rest over my shaking ones, and I turned my head toward him, finding a warm smile on his face as he gave my fingers an affectionate squeeze. "Everyone gets nervous, baby. You'll forget all about it the moment you see him."

My lips curved up timidly in response, and I gave him a shaky nod. I hoped he was right. I had no thoughts of running or not following through. I wanted to marry Edward with my whole heart, but I definitely did _not_ want him to see me trembling like a leaf, as if I was being dragged to the gallows rather than escorted down the aisle.

My father's hand secured around mine more fully and he kissed the back of it. "I love you, Bella. I could not imagine any man in the world who could ever fully deserve you, but Edward is pretty damn close. I wouldn't have given my blessing to anyone less."

I curled my arm around his, leaning my head on his shoulder as he gently pressed a kiss to my forehead. My dad may not have ever been a man of many words, but he always knew exactly what to say when I needed it. "Thank you, Dad. I love you so much."

Just then, the church came into view, and I drew in a deep breath. _This is it_ , I told myself, exhaling slowly as the vehicle came to a stop. Alice got out along with my dad, while Angela followed behind me to straighten my dress and veil as we stepped out onto the pavement.

Gazing up the stairs at the entrance to the church, I felt my nervousness shift to anticipation. Beyond those doors, Edward was waiting for me, no doubt as anxious as I was. In the matter of an hour, we would emerge onto those steps together as husband and wife. With those thoughts swirling in my mind, I eagerly took my bouquet from Alice and linked my hand through my father's arm once he'd lowered the veil over my face. "I'm ready."

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 **A/N 2: When I have some more time, I will be posting pictures of Bella's wedding dress and rings on my Twitter (kyla713) if anyone is interested. Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: I apologize profusely for the delay in this chapter. There has been so much going on in RL, in addition to having very sporadic internet thanks to my "reliable" provider. Hopefully, both issues will be resolved this week, and I can finally get this story wrapped up. Thank you for your patience. Take care!**

* * *

 _ **Edward**_

I never thought I would be quite as nervous as I was when the day finally arrived. Bella was everything I had ever wanted, and how often was it that dreams became reality like that? Yet, there I was, standing at the altar, doing everything in my power to keep myself from pacing, or trying to take off my tie, which felt exceedingly too tight at that moment.

What the hell did I have to be nervous about? The only actual changes that would take place that day were rings on our fingers and Bella taking my last name. Everything else would remain exactly the same. So why was my heart thundering in my chest until I felt it in my throat? Why did I have to keep my hands clasped in front of me so that the whole church wouldn't see how much they were shaking?

My question was answered as the organ began to play and the white satin curtains shielding the doors parted, and Alice stepped through to make her way down the aisle. My eyes had tried desperately to catch a glimpse of Bella before they closed again, and it was obvious that I wasn't _nervous_ , but _anxious_. Angela came through next, and I felt as if I would jump out of my skin at the hint of a white veil I managed to view before she was again shielded from my vision.

Then everything stopped the moment the music changed, the curtains parted for the final time, and I caught sight of her standing at the end of the long aisle—my breaths, my heart, time itself. I had never seen Bella look so close to an angel in all the years I had known her. Even the skimpiest of lingerie could never compare to what my eyes beheld right then. She was the vision of pure innocence, yet with the exposed neck and shoulders, I knew she had intended to drive me crazy, fully aware of my weakness for them.

 _God, how I love this woman._

It seemed to take an eternity for her to reach the end of the aisle and ascend the three small steps toward me, and for her father to finally set her hand in mine. How I wished I could lift that veil and kiss her right then and there, but instead, I pressed my lips to her knuckles before turning to face the minister. Prayers were spoken, and blessings bestowed, yet my eyes never left Bella for more than a few moments at a time.

At last, we were instructed to face each other, and even through the distortion of the veil, I could see tears in her eyes, accompanied by the most radiant smile I had ever witnessed from her. Bella's hands were trembling just as mine were, yet our fingers held firmly to one another as I cleared my throat to begin reciting my vows.

"Bella, I thought I would know exactly what to say if I ever stood here with you, but it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. How do I convey in words just how much you mean to me, or how blessed I feel that even knowing me better than anyone in the world, you still love me somehow? You are my everything, and I love you more than any words that I could put down on paper. I promise to try every single day to deserve your love, to be the best husband for you, and father to our children, that I can be. And I will continue to love you every moment, of every day, for the rest of my life."

Bella's lips were trembling as I spoke, blinking her eyes repeatedly and taking a deep breath when her turn came, and she held my hands more firmly as she began. "When I was a little girl and imagined what this day would be like, I never thought it would be as close to everything I ever wanted. The one thing I've always wished for was to be able to say that I married my best friend, and it wouldn't be some cheesy cliché. And here I am, marrying not only the love of my life, but quite literally the best friend I've ever had. You've seen me at my best _and_ my worst, we've been through good times and bad, and I know without any doubt that your love for me is just as strong, and you are _my_ everything." She paused as we shared a soft chuckle at the mirroring of words in each other's vows before she finally continued. "I promise to love you and always be honest with you, and above all else, I will _always_ be your best friend."

Our words were brief and simple, but they were all that needed to be said. Our gazes broke as little as we could manage as we exchanged rings, and I could feel my heart thrumming within my chest again as I waited for the minister to bestow the last blessings and finally pronounce us husband and wife. The statement had barely left him when I reached down for her veil to lift it and reveal her face to me fully at last. She was so beautiful, with tears of happiness in her eyes and the most radiant smile on her lips—and she was all mine. My love, my world, my life, and finally, my _wife_.

Taking her face in my hands, I stroked her cheeks gently with my thumbs and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you," she replied just as softly before my lips descended to hers.

Our kiss was no chaste peck, yet not nearly as deep as I was desiring at that moment, remembering the time, place, and company we were in. However, it was also no less passionate. I could feel every ounce of her love for me in each brush of her mouth against mine, as I attempted to convey in my own. We had the rest of our lives for everything else, and only a matter of hours left before we could begin.

As the organ began to play again, cueing our procession back down the aisle, I reluctantly pulled back, and her eyes opened to gaze up at me. "Happy birthday."

I smiled and took her hand in mine, raising it to my lips as we made our way toward the back of the church and kissing the back of it firmly. "Best one ever."

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.

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 _ **Bella**_

The remainder of the day passed in a blur, while contrastingly seeming to take forever. I wanted to remember every moment of the day I married Edward, yet at the same time, I was anxious to have him all to myself, without dozens of eyes on us.

 _My husband_. Just saying those words in my head caused a shiver of excitement down my spine. He had taken my breath away the moment I spotted him waiting at the altar for me, and only partially due to how absolutely _gorgeous_ he looked in that tux. The calm exterior he'd been exhibiting in the weeks leading up to the wedding had finally shown a few cracks. He stood bone-straight with his hands clasped tightly in front of him, his shoulders were precisely level, but even from the end of the aisle, his smile was unmistakable as he gazed at me.

He was nervous, but just as happy as I was.

I swore I wouldn't cry at my wedding, but I should have known that was a futile promise. His words moved me to tears, and I could barely get my own out with the emotion raging within me. It all felt like a dream as we slid the rings on each other's fingers and he lifted my veil to take my face between his hands. Yet, when I felt his lips touch mine, the warmth from them began to spread through me, and it was all I could do not to press my body flush with his and kiss him with everything in me.

It was no dream. We were married—he was mine, and I was his.

We had been lucky that, while cloud-cover filled the sky, not so much as a drop of rain had fallen, and we were grateful for that. We also felt blessed to be surrounded by everyone we loved, congratulating and supporting us, but now, hours into our reception at the park, I was anxious for some alone time with Edward. Even with him standing right behind me, his arm wrapped around my waist and holding me close, I wanted more.

That day had been everything I'd wanted it to be, and I'd felt like a princess through every moment of it, but now, I was getting tired. My feet hurt, despite taking my shoes off right after our dance and cutting the cake. The champagne, though I'd only had two glasses, was swirling in my head. And I really just wanted to kiss my husband without dozens of eyes watching us or the clinking of glasses. The sun was starting to set, some of the kids were getting cranky; it was time to call it a night.

"Ready to head out?" Edward whispered in my ear and pressed a soft kiss just behind it.

"You _literally_ just read my mind," I replied, turning my head to meet his lips with mine.

"Nah, just anxious to get you to the hotel room and show you just how much I loved today, and this dress," he said with a laugh, running the tip of his nose down my neck and brushing another kiss on my shoulder.

I brought my hand up to run my fingers along his jaw and spoke softly against his hair. "As I said, read my mind."

Edward's arm tightened minimally around my waist, and I swore I even heard the hint of a moan escape him. "You are a wicked woman. And I love you."

I gave him an impish smile as he pulled away to take my hand. "Never said I wasn't, and I love you, too."

As soon as we announced that we were leaving, everyone congregated around the limo. It was the one tradition I had wanted to opt out of—the rice/birdseed toss. However, when the daughter of one of Edward's friends, who was all of four, looked up at me with her teary blue eyes at that decision, my heart simply melted. I could pick birdseed out of my hair for a day or two in exchange for the dazzling smile and excited gaze of that same little girl, bouncing beside the limo right at that moment.

Once we escaped the torrent and settled into the car laughing, Edward pulled me backward into his arms until I was lying across his lap and sealed his lips over mine in a passionate kiss. It was _definitely_ one that had not been appropriate for church or with the peering eyes of our family and friends, and _exactly_ what I had been craving all day. When we parted, I gazed up at him as his hand still caressed my face while we caught our breath, his eyes remaining closed.

"So, you liked the dress, huh?" I asked teasingly, and he finally looked at me again with heated eyes.

"Baby, it might just take me the entirety of the next three days to show you exactly how much. I have never been so mesmerized and turned on all at once in my entire life. You looked like an angel, yet so damn tempting," Edward responded in a low voice, peppering soft kisses on my lips.

The way he spoke caused me to shiver all over, but I had never felt warmer. Just thinking of the next three days alone with him, in a hotel room we had booked in lieu of a honeymoon that neither of us wanted, was exhilarating in itself. Yet, the arousal present in his voice was making me want to urge the driver to move a little faster and plead with my dad to dismiss the speeding ticket later. Port Angeles felt so far away, and I was _not_ making love to my husband for the first time in the back of a limo.

Although the thought was seriously tempting.

Throughout the entire hour-long drive, my head remained in Edward's lap, and our eyes never left each other. Not even for a single moment did we stop touching, though few words were spoken; each of us seemingly lost in the other.

The air shifted dramatically from the relaxed calm we'd settled into, however, as we felt the vehicle pull to a stop. We sat up and straightened ourselves before a gentle tapping sounded on the car window. I couldn't help but chuckle at the likely reason for it—the driver had probably opened the door in the past to sights that neither he nor anyone else passing by needed to witness. I glanced at Edward, and it appeared as if he might have been thinking along the same lines, if his barely restrained grin was any indication.

He reached over to pull on the handle, signaling that we were indeed decent, and held his hand out for mine as the door swung open. "Are you ready, Mrs. Cullen?"

I didn't even try to subdue my smile as I slid my fingers between his and gripped onto him firmly. "More than ready, Mr. Cullen."


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hi everyone. I know it's been quite some time, but I've had a lot of things going on and writing just wasn't possible for a while. As always, I have every intention of finishing every story I start, and have more in my head. And as a bonus, ericastwilight will be visiting again next month to kick my rear into gear as well.**

 **Since it has been so long, I am going to post two chapters today, as this first one is relatively short. Then I am going to try working on the next upcoming chapter while I have a chance. Thanks for sticking with me! Hope to see you all back here soon.**

 _ **Edward**_

The moment I carried Bella across the threshold of our hotel room, it struck me with a sudden force— _this is my_ _wife_. After years of longing and dreaming of her being mine in the most sacred of ways, that bond was formed between us. Whether we had one child, a dozen, or none at all, I would have the beautiful woman in my arms beside me, and I could hardly wait to see what our future together would hold.

When I set her down and closed the door behind us, she dropped the shoes in her hand to the floor, and we stood there for a moment, just gazing at each other. Finally, she stepped toward me, framing my face with her hands and ghosting her fingertips over my cheeks and jaw as her gaze flickered between my eyes and mouth.

"I love you," she whispered in a barely audible voice, brushing her lips softly against mine and circling her arms around my neck.

My hands ran along her sides and then linked at the small of her back as I held her gaze, pulling her closer. "And I love you."

I'd sworn to myself that I wouldn't be nervous on our wedding night. After all, it wasn't as if Bella and I hadn't made love in many different ways over the past few months, so performance anxiety should not have been an issue at all. Yet, the emotions coursing through me were so difficult to describe. I never thought that marrying Bella would have _quite_ so profound of an effect on me, or on the idea of being with her intimately.

I wasn't nervous, but I definitely _was_ overwhelmed.

Bella's fingers began toying with my hair, and she lifted onto her toes to press her body more firmly against mine. "So, now that you've made an honest woman of me, the appeal is gone?"

I growled softly at her laugh, noticing that the sparkle in her eye had not dimmed, and captured her lips in a heated kiss. "Far from it, baby. Just soaking it all in."

Bella smiled before she turned away from me and swept her hair aside, glancing over her shoulder and asking me with her eyes to help her with the zipper.

I stepped toward her, and my fingers went to task, while I peppered feather-light kisses along her neck. "You have no idea how much I've been waiting for this all day. You knew exactly what you were doing when you chose this dress."

"You better believe it," Bella whispered huskily as her hand rose to thread through my hair, and I lifted my head to catch the devilish glint in her eyes. "I know what my husband likes."

I groaned, grasping her by the waist and pulling her toward me, her back pressing flush with my chest. "Say that again."

Bella released a soft moan as she arched her ass against me, leaning her head back to kiss my pulse point. "My husband."

Those two words sounded like pure heaven as they passed her lips, but more than that, the way she said them in that soft, sultry voice—I was insanely aroused. I turned her to face me, and as gently as I could manage in my anxiousness to feel her body against mine, I guided the dress down her body until it fell to the floor, revealing the garments beneath. Everything about her gown had been reasonably modest, yet what it hid underneath, for my eyes only, was far from it.

The sheer fabric with intricate lace accents left little to the imagination, while somehow carrying the air of innocence. Then there was the white stockings with even more lace circling around her thighs. I moved toward her, sweeping her into my arms and stepping over the dress to carry her to the bed. Her fingers worked down the buttons of my shirt, reaching the last one as I set her to kneel on the edge of the mattress, and she pushed it off my shoulders.

"I have never wanted you more than I do right now," I whispered as I held her face between my hands before kissing her gently again. "My wife."

Bella's hands gripped the sides of my waist, pulling her head back to gaze at me fully as she began unfastening my pants, while I worked to kick off my shoes and socks. "I will never get tired of hearing those two words."

"Are you sure about that?" I asked in a teasing tone once my pants fell down my legs, and she nodded, lying back on the bed. Taking hold of her foot, I rested it on my shoulder as I knelt on the bed, gently gliding the first stocking down her leg and kissing the inside of her ankle once I pulled it free. "My wife."

Bella's body squirmed in response, and I set her foot down, repeating the sequence with her other leg. That time, she whimpered as I whispered the words again, and I dragged my lips along her inner calf to her knee, echoing the endearment once again. Her breaths increased even more when my fingers slid beneath the thin straps of her thong and I kissed her hipbone before guiding it down her legs as well. She rose to kneel in front of me again, her lips meeting mine passionately as she began tugging at the waistband of my boxer briefs until they fell to the floor, while I simultaneously unclasped her bra. "Make love to me, Mr. Cullen."

I watched as she lowered back onto the bed, her hair fanning out over the pillow, and I couldn't help but take a moment to gaze in awe at her. If anyone had told me the year before that not only would Bella and I have dated and made love again, but that she would also be my wife, with plans to start a family together, I would not have believed them. Yet, there she was, bare before me with my ring on her finger, looking up at me with more love and want in her eyes than I'd even been able to envision in my wildest fantasies. When I'd asked her to be the mother of my child, I never dreamed that I would be this lucky.

Crawling onto the bed when she reached her hand out for me, I settled above her, pulling the covers over us. "With pleasure, Mrs. Cullen."

Bella's eyes fluttered slightly as I pressed inside her, her fingers gripping my shoulders, yet our gazes never broke until we were fully joined, and I claimed her lips with mine. Physically, nothing felt different. There was just as much passion and fire as there had ever been between us as our bodies began moving together, and the pleasure was still out of this world.

Yet, as my heart was thrumming in my chest and I felt the cool metal of both her rings as she curled her hand around the back of my neck, I closed my eyes and realized that nothing was the same as well. No matter how many times we made love in the years to come, that moment would always stand out in my mind and heart—right up there with the day she agreed to marry me, our wedding, and someday, the birth of our children.

The first time we came together as husband and wife would always be special.

As if she could tell that I had gotten lost in my head for an instant, Bella trailed her hand across my neck and down along my jaw, hooking her leg over my hip to pull me closer. I lowered my forehead to rest against hers at the heady sensation that sparked, and I moaned softly. "Where'd you go?"

My eyes opened to look down at her, and I kissed her gently. "Nowhere. I am so very much here with you."

Bella's responding smile transformed into a gasp as I rolled my hips against her to thrust deeper, her neck arching while her lips parted, and I pressed a kiss to her exposed throat. Her hand trailed its way to my hair and threaded into the strands, tugging gently as her fingers tightened their grip with her accompanying groan when my movements began again. "You better be."

I lifted my head at her words—as if there was anywhere else I would be, mind or body, on my wedding night. When I caught sight of the mischievous smile she wore and then met her gaze, I responded with a firm thrust. "Even the wildest fantasies I've had of this moment with you pales in comparison to the reality. And I plan on thoroughly utilizing every second of the next three days here."

"And every day thereafter, I hope," she responded as she curled her leg around my thigh and lifted her hips to abruptly meet mine.

"I promise," I whispered in reply, claiming her lips with mine again and tugging gently on her lower one with my teeth. "You are the love of my life, Bella, and I intend to make sure you never doubt that."


	12. Chapter 11

_**Bella**_

For the first week following the wedding, I felt as if I was walking around in a dream. The stress and worry surrounding the wedding was over, and all I needed to focus on was moving forward with my new husband.

When we arrived home after our brief getaway at the hotel—which had been _amazing_ —and Edward carried me over the threshold again, I could admit that I wasn't quite ready for the new bride feeling to disappear. I had waited for so many years, and I kinda wanted the fairy tale to last a little longer, and I got it…for a few days. Mornings spent in bed until almost noon, though rarely due to sleeping. Lunches and dinners consisting of take-out and pizza because neither of us felt like cooking or doing dishes, or leaving the house to go grocery shopping or out to a restaurant. Nights filled with passionate lovemaking in a variety of locales within our apartment.

Yet, life and all its responsibilities couldn't stay on hold forever. There were jobs that needed to be returned to, bills that had to be paid, and everything else that wouldn't halt just because we were newlyweds.

I thought for sure that when I woke up that Monday morning to get ready for work, I'd feel as if the giant bubble around us had burst. I turned over in bed and rested my hand where Edward's chest should have been, to feel only the bedding beneath my palm, and sighed.

 _Well, it was definitely nice while it lasted,_ I thought, but then instantly rolled my eyes at my overdramatic musings as I slid my bathrobe on and made my way out to the kitchen. I wasn't the only one returning to work that morning, after all, which was emphasized by the heavy scent of Edward's body wash still emanating from the bathroom, though he had long vacated.

Those thoughts vanished entirely as I approached the coffee pot, already brewed, with a note tucked under the edge.

 _Good morning, my love. I would have made you breakfast as well, but you were sleeping so soundly that you didn't even notice that I kissed you goodbye. I love you and see you tonight._

 _Love,_

 _Edward_

I could not contain the smile teasing at my lips as I traced my finger over his words. Perhaps returning to the real world didn't necessarily mean the fairytale had ended. We were still newlyweds, doing disgustingly cute things. I'd lost count of how many times I'd stopped him in passing to kiss him or tell him I loved him just the day before. He'd snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower before bed the previous night to write "you're so sexy" on the steam covered mirror for me to see when I got out.

 _I am being utterly ridiculous_ , I thought as I sipped my coffee on my way back to the bedroom to grab my phone to text him with "Love you. Miss you. See you after work", and then a thought struck me. I was seriously one of the world's lightest sleepers, and I had somehow slumbered through Edward getting out of bed _and_ kissing me goodbye? I instinctively placed my hand to my forehead—I didn't feel warm or have any symptom of being under the weather. I had taken a pregnancy test right before the wedding, and that was negative. Why the hell was I so tired that I slept through all that?

 _Probably just my body coming down from the exhilaration from the last week,_ I mused once again while I changed for work.

By 10:30, I couldn't stop yawning at my desk, prompting relentless teasing from a few of my co-workers about my new husband really wearing me out. Normally, it would be the kind of thing I would laugh off or ignore completely, but I found myself getting exceedingly irritated and having difficulty biting my tongue. What happened in my marriage was none of anyone's business. When lunchtime finally rolled around, I decided to leave the office to take a walk and grab a sandwich from the deli down the road.

And text my husband.

 _Exactly how screwed would we be if I walked out and never returned to my job?_

I wasn't expecting an immediate response from him, knowing he would likely be with a patient. So, when my phone buzzed within seconds, I startled with a slight yelp, causing a few passersby to eye me curiously.

 _Well, it wouldn't be DEVASTATING, but I do think you'd go a little crazy. You okay?_

I breathed out a sharp exhale and pointlessly shook my head. _I'd get a hobby or something. I'm just not feeling great today, very tired. And I'm sick of hearing about what a sex god my husband must be_.

 _Well, they aren't entirely wrong ;)_

I rolled my eyes, envisioning his smirk as he sent that, while also fighting a smile of my own.

 _STFU, you smug jerk._

I stepped inside the deli and felt a warmth rush over me, though not the one I would expect from the continuously baking bread surrounding me—but from a wave of nausea. Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, I had at least a dozen onlookers watching me vomit into the trash can right outside, that I barely made it to in time—including my boss, Mr. Biers.

Shit.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked with his hand on my shoulder, and I barely replied with a hum of "mm-hmm" before my stomach rolled again. The door to the deli had opened, sending another gust of scent my way and causing another wretch. "I think you should go home and rest for the remainder of the day. You really don't look well."

"Thanks," I muttered somewhat bitterly as I was finally able to stand up. "But I'm really fine. I'm just a little overtired, I think. And make one mention of my husband, and I will scream."

I glanced over to Mr. Biers as I realized how rude I was being, when he was only expressing concern, and apologized before I noticed him chuckling a little. "I wasn't going to, and to be honest, I don't blame you for being annoyed. The ladies in the office can get a little obnoxious at times. You've just been looking a bit pale this morning. I didn't mean to insult you, but I also wasn't making a request. That was a polite instruction, Bella."

I sighed and swiped my hand across my sweaty brow. "This is just great. First day back after more than a week off, and I have to go home sick."

Mr. Biers handed over my purse, which he had picked up from where I'd dropped it in my rush to the trash can. "Everyone gets sick once in a while, Bella, and you so rarely do, no one is going to hold it against you."

I began making my way back to the office, with him walking beside me to make sure I got there okay, and internally fuming. He was right; I very rarely got sick, and there I was, sick for the second time in the matter of a couple of weeks. First food poisoning and now that.

Upon returning to the office to clock out, one of the other assistants, Jessica, walked by me, and the heavy aroma of her hazelnut coffee nearly sent me fleeing for the bathroom as well.

 _What the hell is wrong with me? Hazelnut coffee smells amazing! A hell of a lot better than my normal coffee, which was just fine this morning,_ I thought as I breathed through my mouth for a moment to collect myself.

Mr. Biers was right. I _really_ needed to go home.

Once I'd finally shut everything down and got out to my car, I heard my phone vibrating from inside my purse. I reached over to the passenger seat where I'd thrown it and dug out the device, to see four waiting texts from Edward in the past twenty minutes.

 _You love me anyway._

 _Baby, I was just kidding._

 _Seriously Bella, are you okay?_

 _My lunch break is over and I'm about to head into my next appointment. Just text me and let me know you're all right. I'll see you at home. Love you._

I turned the ignition to get the air conditioner started, feeling very warm despite the mild, seventy-five-degree temperature outside, overcast with a light breeze. I should have been more than comfortable with just the windows open. Yet, I was sweltering. As soon as the air from the vents began cooling me off sufficiently, I began typing a reply.

 _I'm okay. Just got sick at lunch and I'm being sent home for the day. So I still have a job for now. See you when you get home. Love you._

All the way home, my stomach felt like a fist repeatedly clenching, and it had begun to burn by the time I settled onto the couch and checked my phone again.

 _Got sick? You sure you're okay? Need me to pick up anything on the way home tonight?_

For the first time in hours, I managed a smile. I loved Edward's thoughtful nature, showing how much he cared with just a few words.

 _No thank you. I'm just going to make a cup of tea and some toast, then probably sleep. I'll be fine. Focus on work and see you later._

I got up to do just as I'd told him I would and set the kettle to boil. _Man, we should really invest in one of those water cooler things with instant hot water. My tea would already be steeping_ , I thought while placing the bread into the toaster, and my phone buzzed again on the counter.

 _Okay, text me if you change your mind or think of anything. Rest well and feel better._

I was about to smile again until the scent of heated bread filled the air from the toaster, and I felt that same wave of warmth I'd experienced at the deli. My stomach lurched and I dashed for the bathroom, practically dry-heaving into the toilet. "There's nothing left to throw up, what the hell!"

I attempted to take stock of everything I'd eaten or had to drink in the last day or so, and I couldn't pinpoint anything that would have made me sick that wouldn't have affected Edward as well. Reaching for the thermometer, I checked my temperature to see if I had a fever—98.9. Normal for me, anyway. If I had a stomach bug or something, wouldn't I at least run a temperature? And it was typically the wrong time of year for the flu, and even then, I would have a fever.

Maybe I really was just overtired, and only needed some good sleep.

.

.

.

 **Edward**

I tried to mask my concern for Bella for the remainder of the afternoon, focusing my attention on my patients. However, aside from the bout of food poisoning right before our wedding, I couldn't remember the last time she had gotten sick enough to be sent home from work. Then, when I called her at the end of the day to make sure she didn't need me to pick up anything for her and it went to voicemail, I may have gone a couple—or ten—miles over the speed limit to get home and check on her.

I reached our door with my keys at the ready, since she always locked it if she was sleeping, and was surprised when the knob turned. Stepping into the apartment, I immediately spotted her on the couch with her right knee bent to her chest and her forehead rested on it. "Hey, I tried calling you. Are you okay?"

Her haphazard ponytail swayed from side to side as she shook her head, and she finally looked up to me with tears in her eyes. "I took a test."

I released my breath slowly, hanging my keys on the hook and making my way over to crouch in front of her. Taking her hands in mine, I kissed the back of each and then met her gaze. "Baby, the doctor said it could take a while. We've still got many months ahead of us before it even _begins_ to be a concern. This will happen for us, I'm sure of it."

"It was positive," Bella whispered as another tear escaped her eye. "The line was a little faint, but definitely there."

My forehead creased in confusion as I rose to sit beside her, keeping hold of her hand and gazing at her rings for a moment before meeting her eyes with mine. Did she have a change of heart? "I thought this was what we wanted, Bella."

"It was. It _is_. I want this baby so much," Bella replied as a fresh sob escaped her, and she leaned toward me to curl into my body. I circled my arms around her, more confused than ever. I knew pregnant women could be emotional with their hormones raising havoc within them, but I could not understand that particular reaction. "But the last test was negative, so I thought I wasn't pregnant. I've had champagne at our wedding, wine the other night, coffee every morning. I haven't been taking care of our baby. Why didn't I stop with the coffee and alcohol when we were trying, so our baby could be healthy from the get-go? That was so stupid. I'm a horrible mother already."

I felt as if a giant weight was lifted off my chest and leaned my head down to press a kiss to her hair, but I couldn't restrain the breathy laugh that escaped me. Bella's head rose to glare at me, and I brought my hand to cover my mouth while I calmed myself. "Bella, _nothing_ you have done will cause any detrimental harm to our baby. It's not like you've gone on weekend benders or popped No-Doze like candy. And everything you _have_ done has been in the best interest of our baby's health before he or she was even conceived. You've taken your vitamins every morning, been eating better, avoided things like people smoking around you…"

"Yeah, _go me_ for not wanting to inhale noxious fumes that nauseate me even when I'm _not_ pregnant. Should I put on my Super Mom cape now?" Bella retorted sarcastically with a roll of her eyes. I took her face between my hands gently, knowing that at least _part_ of her mood could be attributed to the hormones, and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her noticeably relax and kiss me back, sighing as we parted and resting her forehead against mine. "I just want our baby to be okay."

"I'm sure everything is fine, and we will get you in to see the doctor as soon as we can to be certain. But Bella," I paused, stroking her cheek gently with my thumb until she opened her eyes to look at me. "We're having a baby."

Bella's lips quivered as they stretched into a smile, and she nodded. "We are."

I rose from the couch with her hand still held in mine, and she surprised me when she stood on the cushions and jumped into my arms, circling her legs around my waist. Her eyes were sparkling again as she sealed her lips on mine, and I marveled at how quickly she shifted from tears of despair to unbridled joy.

I guessed it was something that I would have to get used to in the months to come. We were having _a baby!_


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Whoever said that pregnancy was the greatest experience of their lives could kiss my ass.

I'd admit that for about a week after that initial round with morning sickness, I wasn't doing too bad. I could manage it by nibbling on crackers and sipping peppermint tea. I went to bed a little earlier than usual, so I was more rested, and I remembered thinking that if my entire pregnancy could be that easy, it should be a piece of cake.

Yeah, tell my husband that, after getting smacked the first time he accidentally grazed my breast in his sleep one night.

The following Monday, Edward had arranged his day so that he could go to the first doctor's appointment with me, and for the first time, I wasn't the only slightly neurotic one of us.

One would think that, being a doctor, he wouldn't be so nervous about little things like not being able to hear the baby's heartbeat yet, since it was still a little too early. Yet, I realized, at that moment, he wasn't Dr. Cullen—he was just another nervous, first-time dad.

My OB estimated that I was about five to six weeks along, so it would likely be at least a couple more before she'd be able to find it. What she _could_ give us, however, was my estimated due date.

February 29, 2016.

My eyes turned to my husband as I folded my arms over my chest. "Really, Edward? Leap year? Only _your_ child would be due on freakin' Leap Year."

"Baby, that's only an estimate," Edward replied, but he couldn't restrain from laughing as I narrowed my eyes at him.

Fortunately, although I may have had the most improbably due date imaginable, everything else appeared to be checking out perfectly fine.

Then my body apparently decided to let all hell break loose, as if all my subconscious needed was a confirmation from a doctor that I was indeed pregnant. Aside from my breasts becoming tender as hell—hence the aforementioned smack to my husband's head—it felt like the baby was quite literally sucking the life from me.

No amount of sleep ever seemed to be enough. I was constantly hungry, but almost everything I tried to eat would make me nauseous. All bread products from toast to bagels, and even English Muffins, were completely off the table. Then, for about a month, I had absolutely no sex drive whatsoever. No matter how much effort Edward and I would put in to arouse me, nothing worked. So, since Edward refused to make love to me when I really didn't want it, his showers resumed.

Did I want to be a mother? Yes, I did. Was I happy to be pregnant? Of course, I was. I just hoped that most of the side effects would fade, and I definitely didn't expect my body to shut down on my husband like that.

It was beyond frustrating. I _wanted_ to want him, so why wasn't I getting turned on? My doctor insisted that it was normal and would eventually pass.

"When? Once I balloon up to the size of a tank and then it won't be _my_ sex drive in the toilet. Even Viagra won't help that," I ranted as I relayed the information to Edward that night at dinner, and he attempted to covertly roll his eyes—unsuccessfully. "I saw that, Edward."

He set down his fork and leaned forward on the table, looking at me intently. "You really think my desire for you is dependent on how you _look_? That wouldn't say much about my feelings for you, now would it? I'm in love with _you_ , not your body. I make love to you because I love you, not because you happen to be one of the sexiest women I've ever seen. If I _ever_ need Viagra, it will be because _my_ body is failing me, not yours."

And that there sent me running from the room in tears with the sudden rush of emotion that had been my all-too-frequent companion of late. Thankfully, I had a very patient and understanding husband.

We decided to wait until I reached the second trimester before we would announce the pregnancy to our families. Not that we were overly superstitious people; we weren't at all. However, when it took a little longer than expected to be able to hear the heartbeat and I lost a little weight, we didn't want to get everyone excited if, heaven forbid, something was to happen.

I fortunately reached my fourteenth week rather uneventfully. Yet, I still wanted to hold off a little longer, until after my upcoming ultrasound. Edward had taken the entire day off to accompany me again, which his schedule had not permitted since the first one. While the OB had assured us both that the baby was progressing quite well, with a strong heartbeat, Edward had been concerned because I was still so small, barely showing at all.

Though I could definitely feel every single ounce I'd gained.

On the drive to the doctor's office, I began reading information off a website, trying to calm his worries. "Listen, 'at fourteen weeks pregnant, baby is as big as a peach, measuring 3.4 inches and weighing in at 1.5 ounces.' And my doctor keeps telling me that I am 'all baby', so imagine a little peach right here." I made a circle with my hands, approximately the size described, and held it against my lower abdomen. "You think I'm gonna be a whale already with a little thing like _this_ in there?"

Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Bella, first of all, I would _never_ think you were a whale. And also, I _do_ know the basics of gestational progression, and I'm sure everything is fine. I will just feel a lot better when I can see for myself, right there in black and white on the screen."

I tried shielding my smirk with the back of my hand as I continued to gaze at him. "I thought you weren't going to be one of those crazy dads, worrying over everything."

"Actually, if I remember correctly, I only said that I wouldn't be an overbearing husband and drive you nuts by constantly asking if _you're_ okay. I made no such promises in regard to worrying about you and the baby," Edward replied with a brief glance over to me, and then returned his gaze to the road as he began pulling into the parking lot of the doctor's office. It was my turn to roll my eyes—leave it to my husband, with the memory of a steel trap, to recall that exact detail.

"Okay Mr. Technical. Let's get in there and prove to you that everything is okay, I said, kissing his cheek once he'd parked and barely waiting for him to cut the engine before exiting the car.

.

.

.

"I have never had to pee so badly in my entire life," I muttered under my breath as I laid on the table, waiting for the technician to arrive. "All the technological advances the medical community has made, and no one can manage to make it so that women don't have to ingest a lake before one of these? Like being pregnant on its own doesn't give us enough bladder control issues."

Edward kissed the back of my hand that was held in his, and then looked at me. "Well, think on the bright side. At least your doctor only told you to drink two eight-ounce glasses. I have heard women being told to drink double that."

My wide eyes met his abruptly, and I began shaking my head. "I would have exploded by now. And told that doctor exactly where to shove…"

Just then, the door opened, and I clamped my mouth shut, squeezing my husband's hand hard as he was clearly straining in an effort to not laugh out loud.

"So, how are we all doing today?" the chipper technician said and introduced herself as Karen.

"My wife is a little on the uncomfortable side," Edward responded, and I clenched my teeth, trying not to glare at the smartass.

"I don't doubt it," Karen replied as she guided the gown up to reveal my stomach, and then gave me a sympathetic look. "Especially with so little room in there as it is, huh? Hopefully, in a few minutes, you won't be thinking about your bladder."

I shook my head and shifted uncomfortably. "Not likely, but a little distraction would be nice."

She smiled as she began squirting the gel on my lower abdomen, and I held my breath while my eyes fixated on the screen. Edward's other hand rose to cover mine, encasing it between both of his, and it seemed like an eternity before I felt an increase in pressure on my stomach and a blurry image appeared.

I barely heard or felt anything for several minutes as my gaze was transfixed on the blend of black, gray, and white lines swirling around. I had no clue what anything was; all I knew was that was our baby in there. I could hear the sound of a tiny, swishing heart, and the tech was right—I wasn't thinking about my bladder at all.

"The baby is measuring on the smaller side, but it's not concerning at this stage. We'll keep an eye on that, but you're also petite," Karen reassured me with a smile and then proceeded to point out individual features.

"Can you see if it's a boy or a girl, yet?" I asked hopefully, but Karen shook her head, even after a couple movements of the instrument, telling me the baby wasn't in a good position for that. It didn't matter, though. I was becoming lost in the beauty of everything that was our child, until I heard the words that _no_ expectant mother ever wants to hear during her ultrasound.

"Oh my god."

Only it didn't come from the tech, but my blanche-faced husband, who was staring at the screen with eyes wider than I'd ever seen them. I tried giving his hand a squeeze to draw his attention, but his gaze moved instead to Karen.

"I _am_ seeing what I think I'm seeing, right?" Edward asked, and she regarded him quizzically. "I did a few rotations in maternity while I was an intern.

"You have a good eye, Dr. Cullen," she replied, giving him a nod.

"What? What do you think you're seeing?" I was starting to panic, and Edward's nervous eyes were not helping at all. "I swear, Cullen, if you don't tell me what's wrong, I will hop right off this table and strangle you with my bare hands."

"Nothing is wrong, Bella," Karen said calmly, and I looked to her and found no hint of tension in her features. "As long as you're not opposed to becoming parents of two instead of one."

"Say what now?" I deadpanned, and she drew my attention back to the screen. With a slight shift of the wand, two very distinct forms began to take shape on the monitor. Tears were filling my eyes as she captured a few still frames, clearly marked with "Baby A" and "Baby B", and I glanced over to Edward, who was again pressing his lips to the back of my hand. "Twins. We're having twins."

Edward's eyes met mine and a tear fell from the corner onto my wrist, but his smile was unmistakable against my skin. We remained there, wordlessly gazing at each other, until a thought froze my heart, and I snapped my gaze to Karen again.

"But the heartbeat. There's ever only been one heartbeat. Does that mean…" The words became lodged in my throat, unable to finish the statement.

Karen shook her head, pointing to two individual flickering specks on the screen. "We don't look for multiple heartbeats unless we find reason on an ultrasound. And with the position of the fetuses at this time, it could easily sound like one. I can check with the Doppler when we're done here if you want."

"Yes. Please," I replied shakily, even as Edward's fingers stroked the back of my hand and the tech still remained calm. "I don't care how bad I have to pee, I am not moving from this table until I hear both babies."

I felt Edward's hand come to rest on my hair, attempting to calm me, but my eyes would not leave that screen with those beautiful little flickers, until they disappeared. My grip on my husband was so tight that I thought for sure his wedding ring would become permanently imbedded in his skin, but I was grateful he was there. I'd have been losing my mind at that moment without his calming presence beside me, which I tried to take a modicum of comfort in. He wasn't panicking, so everything was probably fine, as Karen said, but I still needed to hear it for myself.

She placed the Doppler on my abdomen and began shifting it slowly across my abdomen, and the first familiar swishing filled the room. "There's Twin A."

I smiled nervously and closed my eyes when she moved it further and the sound disappeared. When she found nothing to the left side, she shifted it back to its original position, and then up a little. Silence filled the room for several interminable seconds, and then…

"And there's Twin B."

A sob escaped me, but I had never been so happy in my entire life. My babies—my _two_ precious babies—were healthy and alive, strong inside me. Before that day, I had been known to both consciously and unconsciously caress my stomach, but even as I was finally able to use the restroom, I couldn't stop. My heart literally felt like it was going to explode with the fresh wave of added love for darling little Twin B.

Edward also couldn't seem to tame his smile as we walked out to the car. When I reached for the door handle, he turned me around until my back was pressed against the side of the car. "I love you so damn much."

I returned his smile as his hands framed my face, but his lips cut me off from responding with a searing kiss. My fingers hooked into the front pockets of his jeans, tugging him closer as I reciprocated every ounce of passion he was giving me. When I suddenly stopped all movement, he pulled back, looking at me in concern, and then I met his eyes again. "I think you need to get me home right now."

Edward's eyes gave me the once over, until I pressed my hips firmly against his, and his eyebrows raised sharply. "Really? Now?"

"You haven't gotten laid in a month, and you're going to stand here questioning it?"

Edward pulled me forward to open my door, waiting until I was seated before hurrying to the driver's side. Once we were out onto the main road, his hand reached to settle over mine, where it had returned to my abdomen. "My two little peaches."

I chuckled softly, tracing my fingertips over his knuckles. "I have to say, I'm kinda surprised that you're not really freaking out much."

"I'm sure I might a little once it really hits me, but even then, this isn't a bad thing. Twice the joy, half the sleep," Edward replied with a broad smile, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it.

"Well, technically, it's quarter the sleep. Half is after _one_ ," I teased, and Edward playfully groaned, but the smile lines never disappeared from around his eyes. "I'll say it again, only _your_ kids would not only be due on Leap Year, but also come in pairs."

"And only _your_ kids would be so shy that they hide from the camera so that we couldn't tell if they were boys or girls," he countered with a smirk, laughing when I snarled at him. "They are worth the wait, though."


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: I tried to update yesterday, but ffn would not let me upload. And as this was brought up in a guest review, this fic is actually almost over. I have three more complete chapters after this, and the epilogue is mostly done. So it also will not take me long to update this story either, barring any issues with my internet, which I have a lot of, my health, as it is also a huge issue for me, and of course, FFN being up and operational, too. Thank you to those who have been so patient with me and understanding that sometimes, RL in general can be uncooperative when it comes to these things. I truly appreciate you all.**

 **Another thing I wanted to mention was that it was mentioned in several reviews that 14 weeks is really early to accurately see the sex of the baby. It was more meant as a joke toward Bella in retort to her jab about the Leap Year due date than anything really serious, and I apologize that it came across that way. I was one of the lucky ones that found out very early on that I was having a boy, because he just happened to be in a perfect position, and he was a singleton at that. So again, I'm sorry that was the way it was construed by some. He was just teasing her to get a bit of a rise out of her, the way Edward does.**

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

Now that we had the confirmation that the pregnancy was strong and viable, as were our babies, it was time to tell our families. We knew that everyone would be excited about the impending arrivals, particularly the three prospective grandparents, and that eventually, even Carlisle would be able to overlook the fact that they were conceived prior to the wedding. Yet, we still wanted a more interesting way to announce the news than just a casual "Guess what, I'm pregnant."

The perfect opportunity presented itself a few weeks later at my thirtieth birthday party. It was just a small family gathering, but one of the few times everyone, including my dad, would be in the same place all at once. Edward and I spent the night before preparing the cards and sealing an envelope for each attendee, and I was so excited that I could barely sleep.

However, just about a week before, we began noticing the subtle, but very noticeable, rise of my belly when I would lay down, and we'd both started lying there for hours marveling over it. I was also anxious to feel the babies move, since my doctor said it could be any day now. The last thing I wanted to do was miss it.

The following morning, I got dressed in a baggy sweater over my jeans, which were starting to get a little snug. As the weather had just started cooling down and I was known to be perpetually cold, it really didn't appear all that suspicious, so anyone that didn't know I was pregnant would never have guessed.

My behavior, on the other hand, could have raised more than a few eyebrows, though. I was more antsy than could be easily explained, since I had never really enjoyed my birthdays in the past. I kept sneaking side glances at my husband, anxious to get through lunch and the cake, as I could almost feel the envelopes burning a hole through the side of my purse, hanging behind me on the chair. Add on the fact that I was literally biting my tongue to keep from blurting it out and ruining our plan…time couldn't pass fast enough.

But pass, it did, and Edward took my hand to give it a gentle squeeze under the kitchen island, and I cleared my throat to gather everyone's attention as I retrieved the stack of envelopes. "I know it's my birthday and all, and I want to thank you all for everything. But since this is such a special day, I actually have a gift for you."

Edward and I smirked at each other as everyone stared in confusion at the items in their hands once I had passed them out, cautiously opening them. No one seemed to understand what they were looking at initially, until Alice suddenly gasped with a "Holy shit!", and then sheepishly added "Sorry, Mom and Dad."

Inside was a photograph of our coffee table. Both my feet and Edward's, donned in matching sneakers, were propped on the surface, with two pairs of tiny crocheted booties I had made between them, and in the background was our television. On the screen were the words "Premiering February 2016" over the image from my ultrasound.

Tears began to fill Esme's eyes after a moment, and she looked to us. "You're having a baby?"

"Look a little closer, Mom," Edward replied, clearly fighting as hard as I was to restrain the smile that wanted to break through. He reached toward her, flipping the card over, where another copy of the ultrasound still was attached, with the clear "Baby A" and "Baby B" labeling each of the blurry, but easily recognizable images.

She suddenly turned it over again to look at the picture we'd taken again, and her fingertip ran over the two pairs of booties between our feet. That had been one detail that I never thought Esme would have missed, but by the look on her face, she obviously had. Her hand rose to cover her mouth as a lone tear escaped, but her smile only widened behind her trembling fingers. "It's twins? Oh my goodness, it's twins!"

She slid off her stool and made a beeline for Edward, who in all honesty, was actually standing closer to her, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "Double the new grandbabies to spoil absolutely rotten."

"Oh, shush you. Grandchildren are intended to be spoiled," she replied, lightly swatting his shoulder and then turned toward me. "Congratulations, Bella. This is so wonderful!"

As she hugged me, Alice stood beside Edward with her hands on her hips and a cocked eyebrow. "Just had to outdo me, huh, big brother? Making up for lost time in your old age?"

Edward folded his arms over his chest with a furrowed brow, gazing back at her intently. They continued their standoff, narrowing their eyes at one another until Carlisle told them to knock it off, and they both burst into laughter, Alice jumping to hug Edward as well.

"I am so happy for you guys! This is so amazing!" she exclaimed excitedly as she moved between us. "I _really_ envy you, though. Two babies in there, and you're _still_ tinier than I was at _three_ months, let alone _four_."

At that moment, I could see the wheels turning in Carlisle's head, but thankfully, he said nothing. It was a time for celebration and joy, not the question of timing. He congratulated us both with an embrace for Edward and a kiss on my cheek.

In the midst of all the excitement, it still didn't escape my notice that the one person who had yet to say anything at all was my own father. My gaze turned to him, finding him still staring down at the card in his hand, but I could not read his expression. I slid off my stool and moved toward him, placing my hand on his arm, but his only reaction was a hard swallow. "Dad? Are you okay?"

My father drew in a slow breath before his eyes slowly met mine, and I was surprised to find them glistening with tears. I couldn't remember a time when I'd actually seen my dad cry. Even on my wedding day, when even the strongest of men tend to get a little emotional, he'd remained so strong and had been my rock when I began getting nervous. Yet, there were now two wet trails falling over his cheeks. "I'm going to be a grandfather."

I smiled at his astonished tone and nodded. "Yeah, you're gonna be a grandpa."

He gave a soft chuckle and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly against him. "Congratulations, baby. And you as well, Edward."

"Thank you, Charlie," Edward responded, and I felt the movement of my father's arm as he shook my husband's hand, while still holding me close with the other.

"For your sake, I hope they are girls," my dad whispered against my forehead, kissing it gently, and then turned to Edward. "For _yours_ , I hope they are boys."

.

.

.

My exhaustion began letting itself show around four, so Edward and I decided that it was time for us to get home so I could rest. Once I had finally changed into a comfortable pair of sweats, allowing my belly a bit more breathing room, we decided to lounge on the couch together for a while.

"I think that went pretty well," Edward said softly as his head rested on my shoulder while his fingers splayed over my bump.

I placed my hand over his and distractedly traced indistinct lines over the back of it. "Yeah, it really did."

He obviously took note of the far-off sound of my voice and lifted his head to look at me. "Are _you_ okay?"

My eyes shifted to meet his at his words and found his gaze laden with concern. I gave him a smile and brushed his lips with mine, and then wrapped my other arm around his shoulders. "I'm absolutely fine. Just a bit tired and have a lot on my mind."

"Such as?" he countered, laying down with his head in my lap and kissing my abdomen. "You're not still worried about the babies not moving yet, are you?"

"Worried, no. I know it will happen eventually, I'm just anxious. Like a little daily reminder that they're okay, you know?" I said, running my fingers through his hair as he hummed in agreement, but his eyes remained focused on me expectantly. "I guess I've just been thinking about what my dad said. I know he was only joking, but it's got me imagining what life will be like with two girls, or two boys."

"It could be one of each, you know," Edward chimed in, and I rolled my eyes.

I shook my head with a chuckle. "Having two at once is amazing enough on its own without pressing my luck and asking for _too_ much. I'm positive it's either both boys or both girls, but it doesn't matter. However this turns out, I feel so damn…I mean, darn lucky."

Edward laughed as I corrected myself, as we had both been trying to do since finding out I was pregnant, so we'd be more practiced in watching our language once the baby came along. He sat up beside me and began toying with a loose tendril of my hair. "Okay, so what's got your mind so preoccupied then, if it's not just the idea of having twins?"

I leaned my head back against the couch as he continued to play with my hair and shrugged. "In this whole time since we found out we were having twins, even after we took the picture with _two_ pairs of booties, I don't think it's managed to fully hit me yet."

Edward gave me a strange look, and his hand stilled in its motions for a moment. "Okay…but that's quite literally all we've been talking about lately. At least where it concerns the babies."

"I'm not totally clueless. Consciously, I know there are two individual human beings in there," I answered with a sigh, resting both hands on my stomach and looking down at it, and I felt Edward's fingers resume their motions in my hair. "But it's like, in the back of my mind, 'twins' was still a singular entity. And when my dad made that comment about them being both boys or both girls, it just struck me out of the blue that we're going to be bringing _two_ babies home with us in a matter of months."

Edward nodded slowly, as if he was trying to understand where I was going with this. "Yes, that _is_ usually the way it works."

I lightly smacked his thigh with the back of my hand but left it there afterward to rest on his knee. "I know that, smartass. What I meant was, my head started spinning a little when the reality of having twins hit me, not just the romanticized idea of it. I'm not really all that nervous about becoming a mom to two sons or daughters, or as unlikely as I think it is, a son _and_ a daughter all at once. At least, not anymore than any other first-time mom would be. _That's_ the exciting part for me."

"So, what part _is_ it that has you nervous then?" Edward asked with genuine concern painting his features.

"In the matter of a few months, we're going to need two of absolutely everything. Cribs, car seats, clothes, bottles, strollers, swings, highchairs…I mean, the list is endless. And is our place even big enough for two more occupants rather than one, or do we have to move? And what about my car? It's not in _bad_ shape, but is it safe when there's not just one but _two_ children's lives back there? I can't put them both in the middle, so should of look into something bigger?" I paused in my rant to take a breath and realized that Edward was not saying a word in response. I glanced over to find him pressing his lips firmly together, trying not to laugh. "This is _so_ not funny, Edward. These are very valid concerns. Why are you laughing?"

"I'm not laughing at you…okay, maybe a little, but not because I think your worries are without basis," he replied, leaning forward to kiss me, but I kept my lips tight and started at him expectantly with an eyebrow cocked in annoyance. "Yes, two children will require double of practically every baby item imaginable. But not only do we have several months to get it all done, Alice is probably at home right now as we speak, packing up everything that Camden has grown out of already, just for starters. Aside from that, do you really think that my mother and sister aren't going to want to throw you a baby shower? And that is if there is anything these babies will need once Mom has made sure she is sufficiently spoiling them before they are even born."

"Okay, be that as it may, what about the apartment and the car? I highly doubt there is a baby registry in the _world_ that includes those. Our families aren't poor, but they aren't millionaires, either. Nor are we. And how are we going to move once I'm way out to here and weigh two tons?" I asked, circling my arms out in a wide berth in front of me.

"All right, first of all, you're exaggerating quite a bit. You don't have a football team in there," Edward started, his eyes flickering toward the space between my arms, and then he took my hands in his. "You _do_ remember how small newborns are, right? Even two of them are not going to take up so much space that we're going to need to move any sooner than we would if there was only one baby in there. As far as the car, if you truly feel the need for something bigger, that _is_ the kind of expense that we have savings put aside for. Even with the babies coming, a decent down payment shouldn't be impossible to swing."

"Ugh, why are you always so calm and sensible? Doesn't _anything_ ever get to you?" I huffed in exasperation, my head falling to the side onto his shoulder.

"You know it does, Bella. But only things that are completely outside of the realm of my control. The health and wellbeing of my wife and children, for example. I worry constantly about that," Edward replied with a kiss to my forehead, and then his hand returned to my stomach. "Providing basic necessities for said wife and children? No, I don't. I've been preparing for this for a majority of my adult life. And no matter what, I will _always_ make sure that you and our kids have everything you ever need, even if I'm never be rich enough to give you everything you _want_.That is how I'm able to be so 'calm and sensible' about these things. I also don't have two tiny humans inside me, sending my hormones and emotions off the charts. I'm just the dad, and my job in all this is to keep Mommy as relaxed and stress-free as I possibly can."

I gazed back at him with slightly tear-glazed eyes, lifting my hand to trace along his jaw with the edge of my finger. "Well, you definitely get an A-plus for effort. I know I'm a handful, and I love…oh my God!"

Edward gazed at me in worry when my eyes shot wide open and I took a sharp intake of breath as I sat up abruptly. "What? Are you okay?"

I looked at him, and there it was—the calm had completely vanished, and in its place was concern and possibly even a trace of fear. My hand rested over his and I shook my head. "I'm fine. You didn't feel that?"

"No. What did _you_ feel?" he asked, but the pressure of his touch increased just a bit.

"Like…bubbles. It felt so weird. Probably just gas or something, right?" I replied, deflating a little.

Edward shrugged and kissed my cheek. "Maybe, maybe not. You'll be more likely to feel something before I will. They might just be letting their mom know that she needs to relax some."

I sighed with a roll of my eyes. "I know, they feel what I feel, and I need to watch my excitement level and blood pressure, Dr. Cullen. I'm just so anxious for it to happen, you know?"

"I am, too, Bella. But it's still early and we have plenty of time. And pretty soon, you'll be feeling so much that you'll have trouble sleeping at night. I guarantee it."

"I can't wait," I replied with a smile, kissing him gently.

Edward chuckled. "I'll remember you said that in another month or two."


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: Well, I officially typed "The End" on this story today, so the remainder of the chapters will be posted as they are edited, which is happening as I type this. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

 _When am I_ _ever_ _going to learn that I should listen to my husband, the physician?_

I'd been asking myself that question on loop nearly every night for the past two months. His specialty may have been pediatrics, but he definitely did know what he was talking about in just about everything he'd said to me in regard to the pregnancy.

The first actual movement of the babies that I felt was at three in the morning, about two weeks after we made the announcement to our families. At first, I thought I had only imagined it, or maybe even dreamed it, since it woke me out of a sound sleep. Then it happened again in the exact same spot, where I had rested my hand. It felt weird, but amazing; almost like a ball rolling under my palm, and I excitedly woke Edward.

At first, he was a little irritable, groggy from sleep, but when I took hold of his wrist to place his hand on my stomach, just as one of the babies moved again, a broad smile stretched across his face. We were both so elated and enthralled that we never fell back to sleep that night.

It was not to say that the thrill was gone in feeling the babies move—far from it. It was reassurance that they were still okay and doing well. What _was_ getting to me, however, was my lack of sleep.

The babies, along with my waistline, seemed to be growing at an exponential pace. Even though both my doctor and my husband insisted that everything was progressing at an extremely normal rate. By five months, I had gained twenty-five pounds, which apparently was considered healthy at that stage with twins. I, however, had begun to feel every single ounce of it in my hips and lower back, making it nearly impossible to find a comfortable position to lie in. So, being woken up in the middle of the night by two babies using my uterus as a jungle gym really was not helping my level of exhaustion by interrupting the sleep I actually _did_ manage once I finally get there. Yet, that seemed to be their favorite time to do so, and then remained still for a majority of the daytime hours.

I was still so thankful that Edward had been incredibly understanding with my fluctuating moods and increasing levels of irritability. Even when I irrationally began screaming at him when I got stuck in the bathtub due to a back spasm, telling him that _he_ was carrying the next one because my uterus was retiring after this.

He patiently came into the bathroom, albeit visibly fighting to restrain laughter, helping me out of the tub and wrapping me in a towel. His arms came around me from behind until his hands rested on either side of my belly, and he kissed my cheek, meeting my eyes in the mirror. "Even if it was medically possible in the slightest, I'm a man, baby. I wouldn't get through the first couple months of this before I was whining for it to stop. As you've told me, I can't even handle the common cold without insisting that I'm dying. You really think I'd survive morning sickness, or worse, _labor_?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that, shaking my head. "No, I really don't, but at least you're man enough to own up to it."

 _Although I don't think I'm going to fare much better, and I have to give birth_ _twice_ _,_ I internalized, not wanting to admit that I was not exactly that brave, either.

That was definitely one thing that had been increasingly weighing on my mind since I passed the halfway point in the pregnancy—labor and _two_ deliveries. I'd never had too high of a tolerance for pain in general, and the thought of a needle going into my back to ease it was not a comforting one. Then Esme telling me during a visit that she went through labor with both Edward and Alice with nothing more than breathing for pain relief, left me feeling very weak and less up to the challenge.

That was something I hadn't confided in anyone, not even my husband. Never in all the years I'd been imagining that point in my life had I thought that the idea of giving birth would terrify me. It was always so romanticized in my mind, envisioning all the beautiful moments, that the pain of labor and delivery rarely, if ever, crossed my mind.

Yet, sitting there at twenty-five weeks pregnant, with fifteen—at _most_ , considering I was having twins—to go, it was _all_ I could think about. I tried focusing on the positive aspects; everything that would make it all worth it. In just about three months or so, I'd be staring down at the beautiful faces of my children. I would finally be a mother, and Edward would be a father—something we had both wanted for what felt like forever. And it would be that perfect image I'd had in my mind all those years, that I never thought would become a reality. Edward and I would be bringing _our_ baby into the world, together. We would have a family, not simply sharing a child, and two at that.

And that was when the fear gripped me again. Two babies…two births.

It was not until I was sitting in my doctor's office a week later, at an appointment that Edward had been unable to attend due to an emergency with one of his patients, that I finally broke down.

 _Patience must come with the profession_ , I thought when Dr. Evans, my OB, gave me the same understanding and sympathetic smile I'd seen on my husband's face dozens of times.

"It's not at all uncommon to feel this way, Bella. Especially with a first pregnancy, and even for a woman only carrying _one_ baby. I won't lie and say that labor really isn't that painful, but I can say that giving birth to two babies isn't that much different than a singleton. And I'm speaking as a mother with experience in both, not as a physician," she said with a kind smile as she proceeded with my exam. "The good news is that once the first baby is out, it's usually only a matter of minutes before the second one comes along, and then it's all over."

That did give me some modicum of relief, although the idea of labor was still quite terrifying. It was clearly written all over my face, because she continued.

"Our anesthesiologists are also very good, and even an epidural is just a bit of a pinch and some pressure before the relief sets in. Have you discussed any of this with your husband?"

I quickly shook my head and cast my eyes down toward my stomach. "No. He's already got so much on his mind between work and getting ready for the babies, plus taking care of me. I don't want to add more worry onto him over ridiculous fears."

"They are not ridiculous, Bella. Especially for a first-time mom, with no idea of exactly what to expect," she replies in a warm, but firm voice. "And from what I've seen of Edward in the times he's come in with you, I believe it's more than a safe bet to assume that he already _is_ worried but doesn't want to upset _you_ by bringing it up. He's a very observant man."

"Annoyingly so, at times," I responded with a chuckle, dabbing at a tear that had formed in the corner of my eye. "And it's only gotten worse since we've been married."

Dr. Evans gave a small laugh in return as she took my hands to help me sit up. "Well, everything looks good, and your blood pressure was _much_ better this time. So, keep doing exactly what you have been, and talk to your husband. He'll understand more than you think, and you'll both feel a lot better."

I nodded as I lowered off the table and continued mulling it over as I stood at the front desk, making my next appointment and scheduling another ultrasound.

It became clear at dinner just how right my doctor was. As exhausted as Edward was after a very long day, the worry etched in his eyes with every glance at me was very prevalent, and I could also hear it in his voice when he asked, "So how did your appointment go today? Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, the babies are doing great," I answered with a small smile, but his gaze never lost its intensity.

"And how about their mom?"

 _Well, I can't say that my darling husband beats around the bush when there's something on his mind, can I?_

I set my fork down and took a deep breath, and then watched as Edward's eyes start to widen in fear. "No, I'm okay. I'm perfectly fine. My blood pressure was back down to normal, and everything's good."

He exhaled heavily, and his hands rose to rub over his face. "Fuck, you just scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely, but I also felt a smile tugging at my lips as his gaze met mine, and he rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I know, I owe two bucks to the jar. I swear, I might have their entire college tuitions saved up before they're even born at this rate." He laughed, but it quickly faded as he leaned forward on the table to gaze at me intently again. "So, what's wrong, then?"

Tears began prickling at my eyes as I relayed to him what happened at my appointment earlier, and I suddenly felt very foolish in having kept it all pent up inside me. If there was anyone that I _should_ be confiding in about things like that, it would be Edward. He was my husband, but more importantly, he was also my closest friend and my companion through all of this, and his compassionate gaze as he listened to me made me feel even more ridiculous.

"Is _that_ all that's been bothering you lately?" Edward asked in an astonished voice, taking hold of my hand and pulling me toward him. I rose from my chair and moved to stand beside him, and despite my protests of being too heavy, he pulled me into his lap. He brushed a couple of kisses on my lips before gazing up at me with his hand resting on my stomach. "Bella, I'm terrified just at the thought of _watching_ you in pain, so I can only imagine that what you're feeling is astronomical in comparison. But it's nothing to be ashamed of. I admire you so much, baby. I could never be even half as brave as you are, but you also don't need to shoulder this alone. You can always lean on me, okay?"

I nodded silently, closing my eyes as he lifted his hand to brush away the tears trailing down my cheeks—yeah, my emotions had been all over the place yet again, just when I thought I'd passed that stage of the pregnancy. I rested my head on his shoulder and felt his lips press to my forehead, as his arms cocooned protectively around me. The tension in both of us was noticeably lessened, and I came to realize something else.

Obviously, it was not only my husband that knew what the heck he was talking about. _Thank you, Dr. Evans._


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The holidays were an adventure all of their own. Not only was I coming up on my seventh month of pregnancy, but I thought a lot about how much things had changed in the past year.

It was mind boggling to me that just twelve months prior, Edward and I were just roommates. I was looking at another lonely holiday season, unable to even get a date for the company Christmas party. Then he turned our entire lives on their heads and told me he wanted to have a baby with me and asked me to marry him.

I knew immediately that nothing between us would never be the same again after that, but only in my wildest fantasies could I have imagined anything close to what had now become my reality. There I was, pregnant with not one, but two of Edward's children, and it was hard to imagine him as just my friend anymore. He was my husband, and I couldn't envision a more perfect one for me. I never questioned whether he was truly in love with me, or if he had simply confused it with what he felt for me before, combined with the desire to have a child. He showed me in so many ways, every single day, and had been since before I'd even become pregnant. And for me, that was so much more important than anything he _said_ , and I wouldn't have married him for anything less.

The words were nice to hear as well, though, and he'd never failed me in that, either. Even on the busiest day, he still managed to tell me he loved me at least two or three times. It was really hard to believe how lucky we both were sometimes.

When it came to the pregnancy, I was definitely still having both good and bad days, though I was definitely _never_ unhappy. I was nearing forty pounds of weight gain, which _was_ growing increasingly uncomfortable, but both babies were strong and healthy, and the latest ultrasound had revealed that Twin A was a boy. Additionally, I was proven to be right that they were, in fact, identical twins, so therein solved the mystery of the sex of Twin B also, who had still somehow managed to keep himself well hidden during ultrasounds.

Aside from the increasingly frequent nights of sleeplessness, I began realizing that my pregnancy was almost over, and despite all of Edward's assurances about being ready in plenty of time, we weren't. Not by a _long_ shot. Time had been moving so quickly, the transformation of my old bedroom into a nursery for the boys was still only in the beginning stages. The hand-me-downs from Alice had been amazing, and while there were clothes in abundance, there was _one_ bassinet, swing, and infant car seat, as Camden was nearly a year old and had just graduated to the next stage. There was still so much we needed before the beginning of February, when my doctor said it was quite possible I could deliver by.

Doing a baby registry and Christmas shopping all at once was an exercise in complete _insanity_ , even for the one that didn't have two babies using his bladder like a trampoline. Although, it did have its moments of levity. Like when we came across breast pumps, and I insisted that there would be _nothing_ attached to my nipples but my sons.

"Are you kidding me, Edward? Half of my entire breast would be sucked into that thing! Even with the extra boobs I've acquired in the last seven months, I don't have enough for _that_ ," I said a little louder than I had intended, causing a few heads to turn my way, and I pressed my lips together in embarrassment.

Edward, on the other hand, was fighting off laughter. "Okay, scenario for you. It's three a.m., and both boys are wide awake and crying, even though they had just _finally_ fallen asleep at two, because one of them is colicky. But they are now both hungry, and you're absolutely exhausted, but they are also getting big enough that it's difficult to hold and feed them both at once. Meanwhile, I'm standing right there, but can do nothing to help, because I can't magically grow mammary glands. So, you'll have to stay up twice as long to get them both settled."

"That's never going to happen," I replied, shaking my head and gazing down at my belly, and rubbed it gently with my hand. "Because we are going to have two little angels, with perfectly timed, alternating sleep schedules, and absolutely no colic or fussiness whatsoever. Right, boys?"

"Oh, sweetheart." Edward sighed dramatically as he wrapped his arm around me and pressed a kiss to my temple. "You _really_ need some sleep. You're on the verge of completely delusional."

I rolled my eyes as he began to laugh, nudging him in the side with my elbow. "You condescending ass. Why'd you have to go and burst my bubble? Let a girl dream a bit. Fine, but that is _not_ going on the registry. No one else is going to be thinking about my boobs while they are _baby_ shopping, if I have any say."

"Then nursing pads might be a good idea too," Edward added, pointing to a rack a little further down.

As soon as the words left his mouth, I had an instant flash forward of sitting at work one day, typing at my computer, and looking down to see that my breasts had exploded all over my blouse. I hastily reached for two fistfuls of them and threw them in the cart.

.

.

.

Once Christmas was behind us at last, and we were looking toward a new year, Edward and I also began giving some serious thought to names. Although we _had_ made the task a little easier by finding out they were both boys, we still had to decide on _two_.

By mid-January, we were still no closer to agreeing on even _one_. I began to feel genuinely afraid that our poor children seemed destined to be known as Twin A and Twin B for the rest of their lives.

When Edward and I confessed as much to his mother, she decided to help us out at the baby shower that she and Alice were throwing for me. On the table with the gifts would be a large bin, that reminded me a lot of a popcorn tin from Christmas, with a slot cut into the lid, where attendees could leave us baby name suggestions.

I left that day with my sons already being spoiled rotten with everything they could possibly want or need for the first three years of their lives. It took the help of our friend Emmett and his giant pickup, which he had driven into town to help Edward, Jasper, and Carlisle finish the babies' room that day, to get everything home. Even then, it had required two separate trips. Once everything was stored away in the nursery to be sorted through over the weekend, Edward and I sat on our couch, staring at that tin in the middle of our coffee table—packed to the brim with small slips of paper.

We glanced at each other, and simultaneously said "tomorrow", and headed off to bed.

The next evening after dinner, we were back on the couch with four piles in front of us—yes, maybe, no, and absolutely not.

Very few names had landed in the last pile, including Edward and Antoine, as it was too close to Anthony for us, which was also in that pile. We wanted both our children too form their own identities, without any expectations upon them to be mini versions of their father, simply because they had inherited any part of his name. Something there also seemed to be an abundance of, due to the Cullen family heritage, was Irish names, and we had even placed several of them in the "maybe" pile.

I appeared to be far pickier than Edward was, by far. I didn't want the boys to have names with matching first letters simply because they had shared a womb, and they absolutely could _not_ rhyme. They also needed to be a little out of the ordinary, but not _so_ outlandish that they either had to spend their lives explaining how to pronounce it or getting looks that said "what were your parents smoking?" So, if I couldn't figure out how to say it properly on the first try, it was instantly a "no".

By the time we were both barely able to keep our eyes open anymore, we had fairly large piles in the middle two, a few in the last, but absolutely none in the "yes".

"Even in the most optimistic of thinking, we only have six more weeks, Edward. And my doctor _really_ doesn't think I'm gonna go that long. I refuse to go to the hospital with no idea what our babies' names will be," I said with a sigh, leaning back into the couch and rolling my stiff neck.

Edward began rubbing his thumb in circles over the knot that had formed there, and then worked its way all the way up my vertebrae. "We will figure it out, baby. We still have at least a few more weeks, if you will listen to your doctor and start your maternity leave already."

"I'm going to lose my mind! What am I going to do with myself for over a month, if they decide to hang in there that long?" I asked in frustration. Both he and my doctor really had been urging me to start my maternity leave a little early so I could rest more, giving myself a better chance of holding on as long as possible. I had been hesitant, thinking about how bored I would be just sitting around watching television or something.

"Get ready for our babies. Make sure the nursery is arranged to your specifications," Edward tried to say with a straight face, but as side-eyed him, the laughter broke through. He really was lucky I loved him as much as I did. After a moment, his expression resumed a more serious stance, and I felt his fingers running through my hair. "And most importantly, take care of yourself and them by lowering your stress level and time on your feet."

I leaned my head on his shoulder, knowing he was right. The health and physical well-being of me and the babies was absolutely paramount, and before long, the _last_ thing I would have to worry about was boredom. "Okay, I'll talk to Mr. Biers on Monday."

"Thank you," Edward whispered softly, pressing a kiss to my temple. "And as far as the names, we still have more than half a tin to go through, and maybe we just won't know for sure until we see their faces."

I contemplated that thought for a moment, remembering something my father had told me years before when I'd asked him how I ended up with the name I did. He'd said that when they were trying to pick a name, they had decided that I was either going to be an Isabella, after my paternal great-grandmother, or Alicia, which my mother had just really liked the sound of. Then, when I was born, not only did I share many facial attributes with my father, but I just "looked like an Isabella" to them.

Perhaps the same thing would happen with our children as well. "If we can't firmly decide on a single name for each by the time I go to the hospital, we need to at least have four definitive names chosen. Two for each baby. Agreed."

Edward smiled and leaned forward to kiss me, and then nodded. "Agreed. Now let's go to bed before we fall asleep right here."


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

After one full week of maternity leave that began the following Monday, I really did feel as if I was about to lose my mind. Within the first three days, I had done all the laundry and put it away, stocked the changing table with diapers and wipes, and gotten the nursery set up "to my specifications" as Edward put it. So now, trying to find things to keep myself occupied, sitting home alone most days while keeping off my feet as much as possible and waiting for the babies to come was driving me a little crazy.

Men really did have it so easy.

It also left me with a lot of time to ponder every single fear I had with the upcoming arrival of our children. The labor and delivery was obviously one of them, but it wasn't the most prevalent anymore. I had grown so uncomfortable, particularly in the past month, with the babies settling down low into my pelvis, the pain of the contractions and the birth were something I knew would pass. Then I would be holding my little boys, and I was looking forward to that more with each passing day.

My biggest fear was going into labor while I was home alone, especially during a week while Edward was doing his rounds in the pediatric wing at the hospital. We did have a backup plan in place with Alice to take me if that happened and to stay with me until Edward could join me, but that didn't assuage my nerves. I really wanted him there with me when I brought our babies into the world. Not only would his presence keep me calmer, but we had both waited so long for that moment—for him to miss it would break my heart.

By the first week of February, my doctor told me that it would be any time now. Both babies were in position, and I was beginning to efface. Additionally, I'd already had two episodes of Braxton Hicks, so my nerves were on high alert.

"Don't worry, I will be there, no matter what," Edward said, trying to soothe me after the second false alarm trip to the hospital.

"But your rotation is next week," I replied, my hand covering his, where it was resting on my stomach, feeling our boys doing their nightly aerobics. "So, not only are you working on Valentine's Day, but I could also very easily go into labor in that time."

Edward pressed a kiss to my temple, sliding his arm around me as much as he could. "I will sort it out, whenever it happens. I'm _going_ to be there with you. And you hate Valentine's Day."

"Most single women do," I mumbled under my breath, causing him to chuckle into my hair. "It's entirely different when you have someone you actually want to share it with, and they're working. Even if we can't go anywhere or do anything because I'm so close to the end, it would be nice to at least spend it with you."

"I'm only working first shift that week, so we will at least have the evening together," Edward said as he shifted closer to me when I turned onto my side, and lightly kissed my neck. "Though I'm highly doubting that we'll be alone."

His hand caressed my stomach, and one of the babies decided to choose that moment to jab his foot against Edward's palm. "No sleep for Mom tonight, I can just feel it."

"I'll stay awake with you as long as I can," Edward whispered in my ear, massaging the area of my belly that still had the impression of a tiny foot showing through.

I shook my head, attempting to snuggle back into him more, but movement proved to be difficult, so Edward scooted closer instead. His body was flush against my back with his legs curled behind mine, and oddly enough, both babies became perfectly still. I found myself more comfortable than I had been in months and became determined to take full advantage of that. "No, you have to work in the morning, and I think I might actually be able to nod off for a while if you shush."

Edward chuckled softly, kissing my cheek before resting his head back down onto the pillow. "Goodnight, baby."

.

.

.

When my doctor said that I could go at any time, I really didn't think she meant it quite so literally. So, when I woke up at three that morning with the bed drenched beneath me and a contraction so strong that I was actually afraid that it would hurt the babies, I began to panic.

Thankfully, Edward did not. Even though he _did_ bolt out of bed as the feeling of saturated sheets reached him and immediately began changing his clothes, as well as grabbing dry clothing for me, he remained otherwise calm. However, the fear gripping me in that moment was not simply about giving birth—I honestly did not feel that I would make it all the way to the hospital in time. The pressure between my legs was so strong, I thought for sure that our brand-new SUV was going to be christened by the birth of at least one of our sons.

"The hospital is five minutes away, Bella. You will make it," Edward tried to say in an encouraging tone, but even he didn't sound as if he was one hundred percent sure.

"For a doctor, you're not all that reassuring, Edward," I strained out through gritted teeth as he helped me stand from the bed after I'd changed, escorting me out of the room. "Where's my bag? The car seats?"

"Already in the back seat, as you instructed, baby. Just relax," he replied calmly as we began down the stairs toward the parking lot. Once we'd reached the car and he'd helped me inside, he sighed heavily and cursed under his breath. "Damn it."

"Edward, don't you fucking dare start with that! You can't tell me to relax and then come out with shit like that!" I growled as he clicked my seatbelt in place. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I grabbed _my_ car keys instead of yours," he responded, all the while giving me a look with a raised eyebrow.

I clenched my fists along with my jaw as a contraction hit. "Are you fucking kidding me right now, Edward? Go grab your keys, throw a fifty in the jar because I'm sure I'll owe it at _least_ that by the end of this, and get your scrawny ass back down here and get me to the hospital. But I will blame you entirely if you come back to your son welcoming you back from the damn floor mat!"

Edward actually had the nerve to chuckle just before he closed the door to head back inside to grab my keys. I _told_ him that we should have had a spare made for him, and had he listened to me, I would be on my way to the hospital right that very second. Yet, since men rarely listen to logic, I was sitting there, pressing my legs together and praying that I did not have my babies in the passenger seat of my car.

.

.

.

Much to my relief, neither of our boys made their grand entrance into the world in the car, but nor did they wait until I could be settled into a room. One baby was already crowning and ready to go when I arrived, and he was born not even five minutes later. I kept waiting for that screeching cry I'd been expecting, and when it didn't immediately come once his mouth had been suctioned, I began to cry myself. He appeared to be pink and healthy, though on the small side, so why wasn't he making any noise?

Then he was set on the scale and was clearly unhappy with the cold surface against his back, and the faintest gurgling sound escaped him, complete with trembling lips and fists clenched on either side of his head. I only had a moment to bask in the relief before I felt the pressure resume, and another contraction hit me hard.

For all the rush the first baby seemed to be in to enter the world, his brother appeared to be quite content to take his time, though still only taking a matter of ten minutes to arrive. Whereas in the first delivery, the baby eased out in a push and a half, he took three full ones and required assistance from the doctor to get past his shoulders. Also in contrast with his twin, he belted out a resounding cry immediately.

"You did it, baby," Edward choked out emotionally as he pressed a kiss to my forehead, and I felt his tears fall onto my skin. "They are so perfect. I love you so much."

"I love you, too." I gripped his hand tightly and held it to my chest, tilting my head back enough to brush his lips with a kiss. "And _we_ did it. I did the hard work, but we made two beautiful little boys. We still have a problem, though."

"We haven't decided on names yet," Edward finished my thought and sighed with his forehead resting on mine.

For all our determination to have our sons' names at least narrowed down by the time they were born, we still hadn't even come close to the two concrete names for each. Lots of ideas; nothing solid. All we knew for sure was that the names we wanted would be of Irish descent.

What seemed like hours later, we were finally in a private room, each of us holding one of our sons. The baby in my arms had been the first to arrive, weighing in at just barely under five pounds, but healthy and alert, with eyes wide open and observing the world around him. In Edward's hold was the younger of the two, just slightly larger than his brother at five pounds, four ounces, but he was sound asleep and had been since they'd gotten him swaddled in the blanket. Right out of the gate, our sons were proving how different they were, despite being "identical".

None of it was helping us along it the naming process, though.

"I really think my father was making it all up when he said I looked like an Isabella when I was born. Either that, or I'm already sucking at this mom thing," I said as emotion began to overtake me. I swore I wasn't going to be one of those mothers who started to have breakdowns almost as soon as their babies were born, but I was apparently very wrong. I could almost literally feel my hormones raging through my body, and before I knew it, I had tears streaming down my face.

Edward stood slowly from the chair he was seated in and came over to the bed, placing the other baby in my right arm before settling himself beside me and kissing my hair. "Look at these two beautiful faces. They are both heathy and perfect, they have all their little fingers and toes. That's all you, Bella. You definitely do _not_ suck at this mom thing."

"But I can't even name my own babies," I replied softly, choking a little on my words.

"They are my babies, too, and I'm no more sure of what to name them than you are. Does that make me a horrible father?" Edward asked, and I turned my gaze to him. His expression remained calm and soft, but his eyes held a sudden intensity that jolted me a little, and I shook my head. "All right then. Don't worry, they will have names."

I watched in confusion as he reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone, swiping his finger over the screen until opening an app called "Decide Now". The next thing I saw was a large wheel, filled with at least a couple dozen of our "maybe" names in multicolored slots, spinning when he hit the go button in the center. "I hope you are not seriously suggesting that we leave the naming of our children to a roulette wheel, Edward Cullen!"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course not. I just loaded some of our favorites in here, just in case. Whatever it lands on, we will look at our babies and see if it fits either one of them. If it does, that's what we name him, if not, we keep spinning until both of our sons are named."

"Definitely not the most orthodox method of naming children, but I'm open to just about anything at this point. I'm too exhausted to think much," I replied, and we shifted the babies to lay along my thighs so that we were gazing at them head on.

I knew it was a well-known fact that all mothers thought their babies were beautiful, but I found myself blown away by how breathtaking ours actually were. I couldn't tell who they looked like more, but they definitely had the shape of Edward's eyes and his lashes; fine as they were at that stage, they were _long_. Would there even _be_ names that would suit those two perfect angels?

The first one the wheel landed on was "Corey", but we both shook our heads, without even looking at them. It just didn't feel right. The next few were Colin, Grady, and Duncan…not our boys.

I gasped suddenly when it landed on Bradon, and I stroked the cheek of "Baby A", saying the name several times, both in my head and out loud. "He's a Bradon."

Edward was smiling when I finally glanced toward him, and he kissed me gently. "I agree. I love it."

After a few more spins, it was his turn to pause and take a good, long look at our boys, and I glanced at the name that had caused that reaction—Derick. That definitely had not been among my personal favorites, nor had it even been in Edward's top five. Yet, as we both gazed at our other son, he opened his eyes and gave a little stretch.

"Derick," we both said at the same time, and he settled himself back into his blanket and closed his eyes again.

It took another hour, but by the time our families arrived to meet the babies, we were able to introduce them as Bradon Connor and Derick Finn Cullen.


	18. Epilogue

**Epilogue ~ Five years later**

 **Edward**

Becoming a father was everything I ever could have imagined, and _so_ much more. When Bella and I made that pact all those years ago, never could I have even dreamed that it would turn out as wonderfully as it had.

I wasn't just a dad; I had a _family_. There were two beautiful little boys, who were the absolute joys of my life, greeting me every morning when I woke up, and ending my days with hugs and "I love you, Daddys" as I tucked them into bed at night. I also had the amazing woman who blessed me with them still at my side, and I was more in love with her now than the day I asked her to marry me.

That was definitely not to say that life had been easy, as nothing ever is, especially with two babies at once, and in particular, the first few years. My "twice the joy, half the sleep" comment I made to Bella when we first learned that we were having twins, proved to be only half true. All the joy was definitely present, but I'd been overestimating the sleep part—by a _lot_.

Bradon had been a fairly easygoing baby, even sleeping through the night by the time he was two and a half months old…if he wasn't woken up by his colicky brother. Derick was the fussier of the two in general, which led to a lot of sleepless nights, particularly on Bella's part. She'd insisted that I needed more rest than she did, since I was responsible for the lives and health of dozens of little ones every day. Whereas she could nap during the day while they did. Once her maternity leave had ended, she really wasn't ready to leave the babies yet, which I had been half expecting anyway. She'd already been pointing out how expensive daycare was for _one_ infant, let alone two. Additionally, while she didn't want to quit working _entirely_ , the idea of being away from our kids for eight or nine hours a day was upsetting to her as well.

"The daycare providers will be more of a parent to my children than _I_ will. I don't want to be a weekend mom," she told me one night, a week before her leave was up. "I could talk to Mr. Biers about maybe working from home for a while, and if that's not a possibility, I've thought about going back to school for my Master's in a few years anyway. I could start a couple of courses once the boys are a little older."

The nervous tremble in her voice was breaking my heart, and so out of character for her. She'd always been pretty assertive in the things she wanted, for the most part, and I hadn't noticed that changing much since she became a mother. Yet, she was looking at the floor, as if I would really say no to her desire to be home with our kids, or worse, be _angry_ at her for it. Sure, we had been talking about finding a bigger place in the next year or two, preparing for when the boys would grow out of their cribs, in addition to the car payment we now had on the SUV. Did that mean that we absolutely could not afford to live on one income if we needed to, _especially_ with doubling the cost of daycare, which was more than half of Bella's salary anyway? That would not be a problem at all. Even if she did want to squeeze in a few classes here and there, we'd have to tighten our belts a _little_ , but it wasn't unmanageable.

"Bella, as long as the boys are happy and healthy, with everything they need, anything else can be worked out. And a large part of what they need is a happy and healthy _mom_ ," I said, gently tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear and giving her a kiss. "We'll figure it out, no matter what."

Was our marriage always perfect? Of course not; no relationship is. We'd argue and get on each other's nerves from time to time, especially once we hit the toddler years. Cranky would be an understatement, for _both_ of the boys, and Bella's patience would get a bit frayed by the time I got home from work. Then if I'd had a bad day as well, there was a high probability that we'd be going to bed mad that night. Which, yeah, it was never a good idea to do that, but exhaustion always wins out over logic. Then once we found a three-bedroom house to rent that was within our budget, moving with a pair of rambunctious two and a half year olds was definitely a challenge.

There were many sleepovers with the grandparents or Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper during that period.

By the time they were just about to turn four, however, things gradually began settling down, and Bella found time to start taking a few classes, which helped immensely. She loved being a mother, without a doubt, and our boys meant the world to her, but as any mom will tell you, particularly a stay-at-home one, the need for adult conversation and interaction after only having small children to talk to all day is very high. And an exhausted husband, especially since I'd become a partner in the practice, for _maybe_ an hour after the boys were asleep most nights, just didn't cut it. She needed something outside the walls of our home, that didn't involve grocery shopping or other errands for our family, while still not giving up all her time with our sons. Night classes a few evenings a week while I was home with the kids seemed to be the perfect balance that she needed, and her mood and self-esteem improved greatly.

Yet, following the boys' fifth birthday and the early stages of registering them for kindergarten started, my mind began wandering. Bella and I had both passed the midway point of our thirties, and the window of opportunity was starting to close if we wanted more children without increasing the risk to her health too much. We'd discussed it occasionally over the past few years, but there never seemed to be a good time. Derick and Bradon were a handful, no doubt, plus I could never ask her to give up the path she had only just started toward her law degree, either. Regardless of how much I would love to try for a daughter as well, even if there was _any_ way to guarantee that our next child would be a girl—or a singleton, for that matter—my wants and desires were only a part of the equation. I was only one person in a family of four, after all.

For weeks, I laid beside my wife at night, but my mind was light years away. I tried to not let it show and be as physically present as I could, but obviously, she knew something was off.

"I love you. You know that, right?" she said one night as she pressed her body against my side after we'd made love and kissed my chest.

I looked down at her and watched as her eyes rose again to meet mine. "Yes, why? Are you trying to brace me for bad news or something?"

Bella shook her head and a soft smile touched her lips, mirroring my teasing one. "No, nothing like that. You've just been so distant lately, and I don't want to be one of those nagging wives, constantly asking you 'what's wrong?', but I can't pretend I'm not worried, either. It's been going on for way too long now."

I sighed, bending my arm behind my head as she shifted to prop her chin on her her own, which was laying across my chest. "I'm not entirely sure, baby."

"The truth, Edward. We've always been honest with each other in this marriage. Don't change that now," she replied firmly, her eyes never wavering from mine. "You've never been afraid of talking to me about anything. What's so different now?"

"I'm not afraid, Bella. I've just had a lot going on in my mind." The fingers of my free hand began toying with her hair where it was cascading down her bare back, but she was not allowing me to distract her or dodge her questions. Her gaze was so determined in its hold on mine, I knew there was no way to go but complete honesty. "Everything's about to change. Just the boys starting school is going to change so much around here. Now that they will be going for hours at at time during the day, are you going to be taking more classes? Going back to work? I just don't know what's going to happen or what's in our future. Or what you want."

"You could always ask me. That's usually a pretty good method of finding out these kinds of things," Bella said pointedly with a small shrug. "And you want another baby."

Her blunt words took me by surprised, but more so that they weren't in the form of a question. I gave a small nod—there was no hiding much from my observant wife. "I do, but I'm not the one that would be carrying the baby. And you just started taking your classes and all, how can I ask you to give that up?"

"Who said anything about giving it up? I worked almost the entirety of my pregnancy with _twins_ , and you think a couple of night courses would be too much to manage?" Bella's eyebrow arched at me, and I couldn't help but chuckle in response. "Besides, I have no time limit when it comes to my degree, and there are so many options available to me. I could even do courses online, if I needed to. Whereas my biological clock is only going to keep ticking for so long. And to be honest, I really don't want to be pushing any closer to forty before we have this discussion."

I gazed into her eyes as I traced the backs of my fingers along the side of her face. _I really do love this woman_ , I thought as she scooted up the bed a little to kiss me before settling her head beside mine on the pillow. "Do you _want_ to have another baby, though? There's always the chance that it could be twins again, small as it might be. And taking courses online would kinda defeat the purpose of it all, wouldn't it? You wanted to be able to get out of the house and interact with people, have a break from these four walls, and you wouldn't get that."

"Since when did you become the uncertain one?" Bells asked, her eyes flickering between mine. I sighed and stared at the ceiling, and the room was eerily silent for a solid minute. She had told me many times in the past that the one thing that got her through the pregnancy with the boys was how calm and rational I remained, even in her moments of emotional turmoil. Where was that man now? I felt Bella's leg drape over mine and her fingers lace through my hair, and I turned my head to look at her. "I love our boys and being a mother more than anything in this world, and I love being your wife. What I needed more than anything was to find Bella again, not an escape from my life here. Just a little balance, that's all. I found it, and having another child is not going to change that. Even if, by some freak chance, we end up with another two for one package, which I doubt, it's nothing that I can't manage. Besides, they have a pretty amazing dad, too. I'm not in this alone, you know."

"That doesn't answer my question, Bella. Do you _want_ another baby?"

"We wouldn't still be having this conversation if I didn't," Bella answered in a somewhat sassy tone, wearing the hint of a smirk. "Of course I want another baby. Aside from wanting to be a mom again, and as much as I love you and our sons, there is _way_ too much testosterone in this house. Need to at least _try_ to even it out a little."

She giggled as I tickled her sides and rolled our bodies until I hovered above her, and then kissed her soundly. "And if we have another boy?"

Bella gazed up at me with a content smile on her face. "I will still be blissfully happy in my cuckoo's nest."

I was just about to kiss her again when a little knock sounded at the door.

"Mommy? Daddy? I'm thirsty," Bradon called out to us, rattling the doorknob, which was thankfully locked.

"You ready for this again?" she asked as I stood from the bed to pull on my sleep pants.

I slipped a T-shirt over my head and quickly returned to her, long enough to brush a kiss on her lips. "Absolutely."

I glanced over my shoulder to make sure that Bella was sufficiently covered before I flipped the lock on the door, opening it to find my son rubbing his still sleepy eyes. "Didn't you just have a drink before bed, Bradon?"

He gazed up at me with his big brown eyes and gave me a small shrug. "I'm thirsty again."

"All right, big guy," I started, bending down to scoop him under one arm and holding him to my side like a football, which caused a giggle to erupt from him. "One _small_ glass of water, and then it's back to bed with you."

"Okay, Daddy," he replied, still laughing as he kicked his feet.

That sound was like music to my ears, something I could never hear enough of—my child's laugh. Oh yeah, I was definitely ready to do it all again.

.

.

.

Bella had her IUD removed that September, after the boys started school, and we found out a few days before Christmas that we were expecting again. While it wasn't twins that time around, she did give birth to another beautiful baby boy, Noah Benjamin, in late July, but she was blissfully happy nonetheless.

Even if she did tell me about a year later that she wanted to try one more time for a girl.

Having two children under the age of three again was definitely hectic, but our family was finally complete when little Kenna Grace joined our family the week before my thirty-ninth birthday. We thought the boys would have a tougher time adjusting to having another baby in the house, especially given how much sibling rivalry took place after Noah was born. Yet, even the two-year-old was fiercely protective of their little sister, wanting to help feed and take care of her, and making sure that Bella and I weren't being too rough with her, even if we were just burping her after a bottle.

Despite the busy nature of our lives with four children and all the changes that brought about, Bella finally completed her master's degree two years later, and took the bar the following July. She decided to go into family law, mainly focusing on adoptions. While we had been blessed with four beautiful, healthy children, she knew there were others out there who were not so lucky.

I could not have been prouder of my wife, or the family and life we'd built together.

 **The End**

* * *

 **A/N: I do have an futuretake in mind, thanks to ericastwilight, I just need to find the time to write it among everything else I have waiting in the wings at the moment. Hopefully will be soon. Thank you so much for all your support and lovely reviews you have left! I appreciate it so much! Hope to catch you next time!**


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